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blueseptember
10-02-2005, 01:08 AM
I find..
instead of seeing the mistakes that i've been through
i'd rather be blind
because a better word for mistake is you.

Your blouse is soaked in the smell of cologne
You are the reason for the word alone.

Cliche..
is the way that you make me feel
when you say
your excuses are better than our dinner date
Go ahead baby,
give it another shot
right now your drowning
and i'm all that youve got

Your blouse is soaked in the smell of cologne
You are the reason for the word alone.

Tonight's the night for a gunfight
This falls apart in front of my eyes
i lay beside myself in the place you would be
if you weren't covered in lies

Your blouse is soaked in the smell of cologne
You are the reason for the word alone.

MidnightHysteria
10-02-2005, 10:58 AM
It's very incohesive except that you don't like her/him. Try to focus it on something more specific. And please, would you mind explaining what a gunfight would have to do with anything else in the piece?

blueseptember
10-02-2005, 11:20 AM
ok not a real gunfight...its more of a reference to a fall out
Thorough crits would be great