Phantom Life

[Brodiepur]

This is the 1st actually meaningfull song i've really ever written, i'd just like to hear some thoughts...

Phantom Life
--------------------------------
By Brodie Pruha 20/09/05
--------------------------------

Escape with me
Deep into the soul
Away from pain, anger and missey
Let me take you on a journy
Leave all the tension behind
A place we can call home
A place this love will never be disturbed
A place where our love will be left alone

My phantom life
My immortal dream
Allways happy
Always free
Eternal bliss
For you
For me

A sanctuary for our torn spirits
A safe house for our battered love
Here there is no confusion
Here there are no lies
Just you
Just me
Here in my phantom life
My immortal dream

Together forever we shall be
Together forever, perfect harmony
Nothing can stop us now
Nothing to come between love
Join me
In OUR phantom life
OUR immortal dream

[HomeCatMickey8]

"My phantom life
My immortal dream
Allways happy
Always free
Eternal bliss
For you
For me"
That flows extremely well. The whole 2 or 3 syllable *bam*bam*bam* verses are something have yet to be good at, or even consider using after writing them.

"A sanctuary for our torn spirits
A safe house for our battered love"
Nice vocab and just two all over good lines.

Sorry that I don't really have anything to constructive for ya, but yeah, it's a pretty good song that doesn't have anything that really needs fixed.

[Brodiepur]

cheers