Challenge 95 - Voting

[SubtleDagger]

-1up!-
EmergencyRoom
TojesDolan
Lowridden
d0ped0g
bowl of oranges
WhatILiveFor
SubtleDagger
ATC
pixiesfanyo
Dancin' Man

[EmergencyRoom]

-1up!-
EmergencyRoom
TojesDolan
Lowridden
d0ped0g
bowl of oranges
WhatILiveFor
SubtleDagger
ATC
pixiesfanyo
Dancin' Man

[Dancin' Man]

-1up!- First off, your use of rhyme is not becoming of you. This is countered by the fact that you often use excellent wording and imagery. Sometimes though, that’s all it felt like. 7
EmergencyRoom – Ehhh…. I liked how you put it together and your wording (although that last stanza wasn’t as strong) but the theme was a bit boring. 6
TojesDolan – This I was not too fond of mostly because the whole thing stayed medieval and I was ready for you to drop that and be less metaphorical by the end. It also felt devoid of any true meaning that we haven’t heard 100 times. 8
Lowridden – I like this one. It’s none too imaginative but it is so strong and doesn’t let a lot of extra crap linger around. The imagery is solid and I enjoyed reading it. 3
d0ped0g - 9
bowl of oranges 2
WhatILiveFor 10
SubtleDagger - Nice avatar. You're the queen of France. 1
ATC 4
pixiesfanyo 5

No more time for crits unless...

[TojesDolan]

6. -1up!- - Good but cramps up in places.
4. EmergencyRoom - David is good at this.
LOL :D
3. Lowridden - I like the idea behind it, very subtle yet greatly taken... hmm...
8. d0ped0g - sometimes ideas overflow, and sometimes they flow way to slowly...
1. bowl of oranges - very good.
7. WhatILiveFor - The second stanza is... not so great, I didn't quite get it. Confusing, I guess.
2. SubtleDagger - Great, as usual.
5. ATC - It's good, the use of the word is a little rushed... It's not very clear, but I like it.
10. pixiesfanyo - overflow of ideas is not the greatest idea ever, but the first stanza is good.
9. Dancin' Man - good italicized ideas, but the ones in normal font are... good. But not too appealing.

I thought there were more entries...

EDIT: It was hard choosing the places... They were all good, but I based the reank in my personal faves.

[-1up!-]

EmergencyRoom:

TojesDolan: Good word choice which constantly refers to the theme, but overall I don't think it really "stands out".
"My cherished God,
Your blessing makes gives me strength,
and makes the enemy weak."
I'll assume that word was a mistake, but even ignoring it, I found those were too simple lines; it gave a weak finishing touch to the lyrics.

Lowridden: Nice! The theme is original, not something I am used to reading. I could actually picture the scene of a villa on the seashore very well in my mind as I read the lines.
"The only light was the glare off the ocean
And the only flaw was knowing it wouldn’t last."
I really like those lines.

d0ped0g :

bowl of oranges
WhatILiveFor
SubtleDagger : My favorite style of writing. Nothing much to say, except it's excellent.

ATC : I love it. I had to read it a couple times to fully understand its deepness, and it struck me how I loved the imagery. It's short too, and yet doesn't feel as empty as other lyrics twice as long. Good job.

pixiesfanyo : Excellent vocabulary! But it's somewhat spoiled by the...lack of words. It lacked emotivity, felt too descriptive to me. Still, I like it a lot; I look forward to reading more pieces from you :)

Dancin' Man : The lines in italic seem out of place, and not fit for lyrical context... Overall, I found it was simplistic. I like the last stanza though, it gives a strong finish for a not-so-strong piece. Maybe with more imagery it would've been a whole different piece of work.

[Lowridenn]

6 -1up!-
5 EmergencyRoom
7 TojesDolan
X Lowridden
8 d0ped0g
2 bowl of oranges
9 WhatILiveFor
1 SubtleDagger
10 ATC
4 pixiesfanyo
3 Dancin' Man

I'll post comments later.

[bowl of oranges]

-1up!-
EmergencyRoom
TojesDolan
Lowridden
d0ped0g
bowl of oranges
WhatILiveFor
SubtleDagger
ATC
pixiesfanyo
Dancin' Man

[pixiesfanyo]

-1up!- - 2
EmergencyRoom - 7
TojesDolan - 8
Lowridden - 4
d0ped0g - 9
bowl of oranges -3
WhatILiveFor - 10
SubtleDagger - 1
ATC - 5
Dancin' Man - 6

[WhatILivefoR]

5 -1up!- -6.7
6 EmergencyRoom- 6.5
2 TojesDolan- 7.0
4 Lowridden- 6.8
8 d0ped0g- 5.8
1 bowl of oranges- 8.2
x WhatILiveFor
3 SubtleDagger- 6.9
9 ATC- 5.3
10 pixiesfanyo- 5.2
7 Dancin' Man- 6.2


I will present full critiques if asked. That is, if I am able to- I will be gone for this weekend, and I don't know what my computer access will be like.

By the way, this was a hard challenge to place ranks.

[d0ped0g]

-1up!- - nicely put together, but many things just seemed out of place - 6.9/10
EmergencyRoom - some real standout moments, interesting structure - 7.5/10
TojesDolan - interesting that such a conventional structure and use of vocab carried no rhyme whatsoever (not saying its a bad thing). Nothing wrong with the peice, but hardly the most thoughtprovoking of the lot - 6.6/10
Lowridden
d0ped0g
bowl of oranges
WhatILiveFor
SubtleDagger
ATC
pixiesfanyo
Dancin' Man

[ATC]

1up!- 1
EmergencyRoom - 7
TojesDolan - 10
Lowridden - 5
d0ped0g - 9
bowl of oranges - 4
WhatILiveFor - 6
SubtleDagger - 3
ATC - x
pixiesfanyo - 2
Dancin' Man - 8

Votes definitely subject to change. Barely read them all twice.

[EmergencyRoom2]

7.-1up!-
EmergencyRoom
9.TojesDolan
5.Lowridden
6.d0ped0g
4.bowl of oranges
8.WhatILiveFor
1.SubtleDagger
10.ATC
3.pixiesfanyo
2.Dancin' Man

I won't have time to crit each one just now so i'll just vote and crit anyone who needs one from me. The standards were really high this time round IMO. No-one really wrote anything that wasn't at least decent. :thumb:

[SubtleDagger]

-1up!- - 7th
EmergencyRoom - 8th
TojesDolan - 10th
lowridden - 2nd
d0ped0g - 9th
bowl of oranges - 3rd
WhatILiveFor - 4th
ATC - 5th
pixiesfanyo - 1st
Dancin' Man - 6th

Ask for an explanation if you need one.