Violent_Bill
09-21-2005, 12:43 AM
Ok, this is probably the weakest poll so far but there are still some great episodes here. Five go through, which ones do, is up to you.
Homer the Great: Homer joins a secret society known as the Stonecutters, and is believed to be the 'chosen one'. The other members, however, don't like his new-found power.
Memorable Quotes:
“Homer, I don't want you stalking people! It's so illegal! Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden?”
“Well, something did.”
“No stalking Lenny or Carl.”
”Fine. I'm going...out...to... stalk...Lenny and Carl...heh heh heh...D'oh!”
“What do they do there, dad?”
”What do they do? What don't they do!? Oh, they do so many things--they never stop. Oh, the things they do there, my stars!”
”You don't know what they do there, do you?”
”Not as such, no.”
Bart's Friend Falls in Love: Milhouse falls in love with a new girl at school, and casts his friendship with Bart aside. Meanwhile, Homer tries to lose weight by listening to a subliminal tape. Also features the legendary Indiana Jones intro.
Memorable Quotes:
“Hello, I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint, Delicious But Deadly and Here Comes the Metric System! I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here's Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What.”
“How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey-type creature?”
”I'm sorry, that would be playing God.”
”God shmod! I want my monkey-man!”
King-Size Homer: Homer gains a lot of weight so he can claim disability and work from home. However, Marge does not like the new Homer.
Memorable Quotes:
“To start press any key. Well where's the "any" key? I see Esc, Catarl, and PigUp. There doesn't seem to be any any key! Phew. All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a Tab. (pushes Tab key) Oop! No time for that now, the computer's starting.”
“I've gotta call the plant and warn them!” (pushes buttons on phone)
(Phone Announcer) “The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm ... now.”
The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson: Barney takes off with Homer's car when he is appointed designated driver. When he returns without the car, the family journey to Manhattan to retrieve it, however, it is illegally parked and has a boot attached.
Memorable Quotes:
“Now, what do you have to was that awful taste out of my mouth?
”Mountain Dew or Crab Juice.”
”Blugh oh geez!... I'll take the crab juice.”
“All right, New York, I'm coming back! But you're not gettin' this!" (Burns his wallet).
The Cartridge Family: After a soccer riot escalates into a citywide orgy of destruction, Homer purchases a handgun to protect his family, much to Marge's disgust.
Memorable Quotes:
“A gun is not a weapon, Marge, it's a tool. Like a butcher knife or a harpoon, or... or an alligator.”
“It could have been a real ugly situation, but luckily I managed to shoot him in the spine.”
Homer the Vigilante: When a cat burglar hits Springfield, Homer forms a vigilante group who end up causing more crimes than they prevent.
Memorable Quotes:
"People can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that."
"Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?"
"Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes."
"... Well, touche."
"So, Mr. Malloy, it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him."
"How ironic."
You Only Move Twice: The Simpsons move to Cypress Creek when Homer receives a better job offer, however, unbeknown to him, his new boss is an evil supervillain.
Memorable Quotes:
"Good afternoon, gentlemen. This is Scorpio. I have the Doomsday Device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold or you'll face the consequences. And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this."
(59th street bridge collapses)
"Oh, my God, the 59th Street bridge!"
"Maybe it just collapsed on its own."
"We can't take that chance."
"You always say that. I want to take a chance!"
"Homer, on your way out, if you want to kill somebody, it would help me a lot."
Lisa's Rival: Lisa has competition from a new student who is younger, smarter and a better saxophone player than she is. Meanwhile, Homer tries to flog some sugar he 'found'.
"The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday."
"Woohoo! A four day weekend!"
"I bent my Wookiee."
The Joy of Sect: Homer and the kids are brainwashed by an underground cult, the Movementarians, and Marge must deprogram the family.
Memorable Quotes:
"How much is this free resort weekend?"
"It's free!"
"And when is this weekend?"
"It's this weekend"
"Uh huh, and how much does it cost?"
"Um...its free"
"I see and when is it?"
"Its....this weekend."
"And how much are you charging for this weekend?"
"C'mon dad, the teams arriving."
"Wait, I'm confused about the movie... so the cops knew internal affairs were setting them up?"
"What are you talking about theres nothing like that in there!"
"Well you see when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span."
"But our point is very simple, you see when..."
"Oh look! A bird! Hehehehe!"
Pokey Mom: An ex-con with artistic ability is paroled into Marge's care. Meanwhile, Homer discovers a great cure for a bad back - a trash can, a.k.a. the Spinal Cylinder.
Memorable Quotes:
"My Spinal Cylinder! They'll pay for what they did to my can!"
"Forget it, Homer. It's Chirotown. "
"Oh chief, I found some evidence that points to the real arsonist."
"Well lets see it."
"Not yet. You have to guess what it is!"
"We don't have time for guessing games!"
"Nah, let's try it, it might be fun. Is it DNA? So it's like DNA. A hatchet?"
"You had a turn, I want a guess!"
Homer the Great: Homer joins a secret society known as the Stonecutters, and is believed to be the 'chosen one'. The other members, however, don't like his new-found power.
Memorable Quotes:
“Homer, I don't want you stalking people! It's so illegal! Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden?”
“Well, something did.”
“No stalking Lenny or Carl.”
”Fine. I'm going...out...to... stalk...Lenny and Carl...heh heh heh...D'oh!”
“What do they do there, dad?”
”What do they do? What don't they do!? Oh, they do so many things--they never stop. Oh, the things they do there, my stars!”
”You don't know what they do there, do you?”
”Not as such, no.”
Bart's Friend Falls in Love: Milhouse falls in love with a new girl at school, and casts his friendship with Bart aside. Meanwhile, Homer tries to lose weight by listening to a subliminal tape. Also features the legendary Indiana Jones intro.
Memorable Quotes:
“Hello, I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint, Delicious But Deadly and Here Comes the Metric System! I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here's Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What.”
“How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey-type creature?”
”I'm sorry, that would be playing God.”
”God shmod! I want my monkey-man!”
King-Size Homer: Homer gains a lot of weight so he can claim disability and work from home. However, Marge does not like the new Homer.
Memorable Quotes:
“To start press any key. Well where's the "any" key? I see Esc, Catarl, and PigUp. There doesn't seem to be any any key! Phew. All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a Tab. (pushes Tab key) Oop! No time for that now, the computer's starting.”
“I've gotta call the plant and warn them!” (pushes buttons on phone)
(Phone Announcer) “The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm ... now.”
The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson: Barney takes off with Homer's car when he is appointed designated driver. When he returns without the car, the family journey to Manhattan to retrieve it, however, it is illegally parked and has a boot attached.
Memorable Quotes:
“Now, what do you have to was that awful taste out of my mouth?
”Mountain Dew or Crab Juice.”
”Blugh oh geez!... I'll take the crab juice.”
“All right, New York, I'm coming back! But you're not gettin' this!" (Burns his wallet).
The Cartridge Family: After a soccer riot escalates into a citywide orgy of destruction, Homer purchases a handgun to protect his family, much to Marge's disgust.
Memorable Quotes:
“A gun is not a weapon, Marge, it's a tool. Like a butcher knife or a harpoon, or... or an alligator.”
“It could have been a real ugly situation, but luckily I managed to shoot him in the spine.”
Homer the Vigilante: When a cat burglar hits Springfield, Homer forms a vigilante group who end up causing more crimes than they prevent.
Memorable Quotes:
"People can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that."
"Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?"
"Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes."
"... Well, touche."
"So, Mr. Malloy, it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him."
"How ironic."
You Only Move Twice: The Simpsons move to Cypress Creek when Homer receives a better job offer, however, unbeknown to him, his new boss is an evil supervillain.
Memorable Quotes:
"Good afternoon, gentlemen. This is Scorpio. I have the Doomsday Device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold or you'll face the consequences. And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this."
(59th street bridge collapses)
"Oh, my God, the 59th Street bridge!"
"Maybe it just collapsed on its own."
"We can't take that chance."
"You always say that. I want to take a chance!"
"Homer, on your way out, if you want to kill somebody, it would help me a lot."
Lisa's Rival: Lisa has competition from a new student who is younger, smarter and a better saxophone player than she is. Meanwhile, Homer tries to flog some sugar he 'found'.
"The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday."
"Woohoo! A four day weekend!"
"I bent my Wookiee."
The Joy of Sect: Homer and the kids are brainwashed by an underground cult, the Movementarians, and Marge must deprogram the family.
Memorable Quotes:
"How much is this free resort weekend?"
"It's free!"
"And when is this weekend?"
"It's this weekend"
"Uh huh, and how much does it cost?"
"Um...its free"
"I see and when is it?"
"Its....this weekend."
"And how much are you charging for this weekend?"
"C'mon dad, the teams arriving."
"Wait, I'm confused about the movie... so the cops knew internal affairs were setting them up?"
"What are you talking about theres nothing like that in there!"
"Well you see when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span."
"But our point is very simple, you see when..."
"Oh look! A bird! Hehehehe!"
Pokey Mom: An ex-con with artistic ability is paroled into Marge's care. Meanwhile, Homer discovers a great cure for a bad back - a trash can, a.k.a. the Spinal Cylinder.
Memorable Quotes:
"My Spinal Cylinder! They'll pay for what they did to my can!"
"Forget it, Homer. It's Chirotown. "
"Oh chief, I found some evidence that points to the real arsonist."
"Well lets see it."
"Not yet. You have to guess what it is!"
"We don't have time for guessing games!"
"Nah, let's try it, it might be fun. Is it DNA? So it's like DNA. A hatchet?"
"You had a turn, I want a guess!"