And You call yourslef a gunslinger (still working on title)

[REAL_FOB/TBS/BN_FAN]

Waking up
with a Saturday Night fever
In my Sundays Best
(I say Thank God its friday)
As i roll back on my chest

Its midnight
i cant sleep right
and the on the dresser
is the only light
the red glow on your face
makes me never want to
leave this place

Chorus: All my hopes and dreams
they all dont mean a thing
(I just want you)
(I just want you)
Take TAke
Everything i own
Ill give it all up
not to be alone
(I just want you)
(I just want you) for me tonite

with a winters chill
i fall back into bed
( need to spring into action
(I need a summer song)
to get into my head
to get into my head

so inviting
and mesmerizing
your eyes of blue
(are apetizing)
they glisten in the light (the thoguth of seeing them)
Gets me through the night

Chorus



I dont know
how much longer i can hide
(how much i care, how much i care)
every night i wonder
every night in slumber
(where is this going, and am i showing)
you to much
to soon
to much
to soon
to much
to soon
TO MUCH!!!!!!
TO SOON!!!!

chrous (TO MUCH TO SOON) repeat until fade out

thats it, its a sound more like TaKing Back Sunday, so go for it and give me the crit

[MidnightHysteria]

You open with a lot of clichés, and generally that's a bad thing, but you seem to twist their meanings, so that's rather cool. Aside from that, my favorite line would have to be the imagery about "with a winter's chill/ I fall back into bed". Strong stuff.

On the other hand, I think the title may need changing. Maybe "too much, too soon"? (although, now that I think about it, that's a rather cliché title.) Or "Take everything"?

[APS]

Your lyrics and name make me cry black tears down my Sunday's best dress, that come from my broken heart sending blood to my razorblade romance wrists, with sorrow thrown in there.

[factor46]

Your lyrics and name make me cry black tears down my Sunday's best dress, that come from my broken heart sending blood to my razorblade romance wrists, with sorrow thrown in there.

Nice. :lol:

[umbilical_mind]

dude, this is dead good stuff. nice one!

[REAL_FOB/TBS/BN_FAN]

dude that was nice

the title is not for sure

[REAL_FOB/TBS/BN_FAN]

Your lyrics and name make me cry black tears down my Sunday's best dress, that come from my broken heart sending blood to my razorblade romance wrists, with sorrow thrown in there.

dude that was nice

the title is not for sure :D

[REAL_FOB/TBS/BN_FAN]

anyone else got something for me?