untitled song...kinda unfinised

[fÄLL0Utß0¥]

this is my first post and this is the first song ive wrote. although i think it's much more poem-ish than lyrics.

it's about terrorism mostly. i wrote it while watching a programme on the beslam terrorist thing..


God saves those he can,
the best and most beautiful are brought to him,
those less fortunate are left on this world,
to witness the storm that now shrouds a once promising paradise of peace.
------
Raping innocence is your claim to fame,
but nothing can last forever
and one day this game will end.
Nothing can last forever
and one day things will have changed..... << i dont really like this line but i felt that it should (kinda) rhyme with the first line =s
------
Sit with a straight face as you see what you have become,
reflected in the tear stained faces of those you have forsaken.
Who, but a man of stone, could not wish to be waken,
to find themselves in the prescense of an innocent place,
free of the clutch of fear,
unharmed and unscarred by the wear of this world,
while a trace of grace remains,
upon a once beautiful face.
|------|



please be gentle!. lol

[Contagion]

Its honestly not bad at all, its just an attempt at depth, with a subject that isnt too deep.

[fÄLL0Utß0¥]

thanx, umm..any improvements or tips??