leg of eel
08-23-2005, 11:41 AM
ok, this is my first song. rip it apart. i know it seems off in a ton of places, but it goes well with the music. i'm new here, i read the rules and i think i've done everything right so far. if not, let me know. crit for a crit, leave a link if it's not too much trouble please.
the windows are just holes in boxes,
and they are letting the rain in,
the doors don't bother to even lock,
and the blinds go and pull themselves up,
you don't know what's happening, but in due time it'll be done.
there's no answers to our questions,
there's no hope, we'll never know,
but while we wait for a solution,
stop looking towards the clouds,
trade sanity for a song.
i press my fingers to the wood,
hope for some form of beauty to come,
but what i hear is simple,
and far too repetitive for words.
so i try and try and try again,
drive for something more,
i look to the clocks and lamps and candles,
to help me write this score,
i see no inspiration,
just the frame frowning upon the wall,
and i find myself to question, what is going on?
there's no answers to our questions,
there's no hope, we'll never know,
but while we wait for a solution,
stop looking towards the clouds,
trade sanity for a song.
the shutters beat against the vinyl siding,
and the trees sway in the night,
thunder, you can be my kick drum,
howl of the wind, would you like to be a bass line?
this storm is my masterpiece.
the weather appears to be angry tonight,
it's in the mood to compose,
the breeze will the carry the pen across the lines,
creating music as it goes.
the rain washed in through the window,
distorted the ink and erased the melody,
looks like karma and irony has taken it's toll.
the storm was my masterpiece.
any thing helpful is welcome. thanks.
the windows are just holes in boxes,
and they are letting the rain in,
the doors don't bother to even lock,
and the blinds go and pull themselves up,
you don't know what's happening, but in due time it'll be done.
there's no answers to our questions,
there's no hope, we'll never know,
but while we wait for a solution,
stop looking towards the clouds,
trade sanity for a song.
i press my fingers to the wood,
hope for some form of beauty to come,
but what i hear is simple,
and far too repetitive for words.
so i try and try and try again,
drive for something more,
i look to the clocks and lamps and candles,
to help me write this score,
i see no inspiration,
just the frame frowning upon the wall,
and i find myself to question, what is going on?
there's no answers to our questions,
there's no hope, we'll never know,
but while we wait for a solution,
stop looking towards the clouds,
trade sanity for a song.
the shutters beat against the vinyl siding,
and the trees sway in the night,
thunder, you can be my kick drum,
howl of the wind, would you like to be a bass line?
this storm is my masterpiece.
the weather appears to be angry tonight,
it's in the mood to compose,
the breeze will the carry the pen across the lines,
creating music as it goes.
the rain washed in through the window,
distorted the ink and erased the melody,
looks like karma and irony has taken it's toll.
the storm was my masterpiece.
any thing helpful is welcome. thanks.