Distorted Memories, my epic

[Dead_Trench]

[summary at the bottom]

Distorted Memories

I...
Lay awake...
Watching the shadows...
and...
I see her face
Whenever I close my eyes...
I cannot live
I do not know
her fate...
I am...
Dying...
without her

My mind
Is fixated
Her beauty mirrors
my lonliness

Wait no more
Your love
will never
come back...
In earth
her body
dwells
Her soul
still still
searches
for you...

Let it go Let it go!

She is all I see
Her perfect beauty
I cannot believe
She is gone
But I know
I know
She is coming back
Nothing would stop her
Not even death
could keep her from
reentering my
arms

My mind
Is fixated
Her beauty mirrors
my lonliness

Wait no more
Your love
will never
come back...
In earth
her body
dwells
Her soul
still still
searches
for you...

Please move on
Don't waste your
life

[heavy interlude]

Control yourself
I find myself breath-ing faintly
I kill myself with sor-row
Lying down on a cold floor
This stained floor my only friend
I cannot sleep
I have not eaten
And now I see...
Visions

My mind
Is fixated
Her beauty mirrors
my lonliness

Wait no more
Your love
will never
come back...
In earth
her body
dwells
Her soul
still still
searches
for you...

My mind is freaking out
My eyes viewing the past
I'm alone but they are all around me...
Strangers
Then I see her
She is not looking but I, I see

My mind
Is fixated
Her beauty mirrors
my lonliness

Wait no more
Your love
will never
come back...
In earth
her body
dwells
Her soul
still still
searches
for you...

I watch her, then he comes
He drags her off
No resistance can stop him
And I know now
What has happened

[final interlude with solos and riffage]

She died, he raped, she cried
From the panic
He killed, he killed, he killed, HE KILLED

Time for revenge
Kill the one who killed me
Round the bend
Knife in hand
All my guards are up
I see his shadow
I know it is him
Visions do not lie
I have got him
He is in my grasp
Time to kill the wretched filth
Burn, burn

She was mine and you took her
She was mine and you broke her
She was mine and you took her
She was mine and you broke her
Pay for your sins she is never coming back
Pray for your life from my oncoming attack
Die
Die!
DIE
DIE!

Blood, blood, blood!



This songs an epic. It clocks in at about 13 and a half minutes. Most of the lyrics are growled(high and low) except for the first two verses which are sung softly. It's an epic metal(gothenburg) song with the first few verses being ballad like and then it gets much heavier and technical. This is the only time I've made lyrics about love other than a love for destruction.

The title Distorted Memories comes from the fact that the man remembers her being much more beautiful and nicer than she actually was. He is very depressed and stops eating and sleeping. That leads to him having 'visions' of what happened to her. It shows her being raped and killed by some man. These are actually just hallucinations and entirely false. But he goes out and kills the guy he claims to see in his vision anyway. What actually happened to his wife/lover was never actually said.

I have a midi version I could let you guys hear if I could find somewhere to host it.

[TojesDolan]

Uh, kid. That's way too much. At least you could've made us like, wait or something, and subdivide the song. But anyhow, I'll do this because the Pit is sucking big time balls.

I...
Lay awake...
Watching the shadows...
and...
I see her face
Whenever I close my eyes...
I cannot live
I do not know
her fate...
I am...
Dying...
without her

The first part is alright, but then it gets overly dramatic. Cut it off a little bit, I guess.


My mind
Is fixated
Her beauty mirrors
my lonliness

Wait no more
Your love will never come back...
In earth her body dwells
Her soul still still searches
for you...

This one feels much better. I liked it. Despite being a little cliché at some points, it's beareable, because it's well written.

She is all I see
Her perfect beauty
I cannot believe
She is gone
But I know
I know
She is coming back
Nothing would stop her
Not even death
could keep her from
reentering my
arms

reentering doesn't seem to give it flow. Kill it and give it another word, it's alright, I guess.

I'm just making an overall look at the song with some pointers, because it's just too huge to even try to make a stanza-by-stanza thing.

It has some great moments, and incredibly horrible cliches, all over scattered. maybe break it apart in two songs and kill the clichéd one abnd you get a good song out of this. It has some touches of death metal, but it all goes down the crapper when you start raping and molesting and almost eating her insides. Man, Chill out!

and the end is just bogus. Don't ever use it. I rate it 5/10 for the good and horrible moments.