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jelly_side_down
08-20-2005, 10:42 AM
Wind her up and watch her go.
Her porcelin legs twirl and her hair's all a flow.
Three turns should do it, you know how you get bored.
Then she'll lay back down, a trophy of how you cared...
you cared...
until the spring wore out.

Your wind up doll...
Your everything, your all.
But only when you want,
Otherwise she gathers dust.

It's been a while now...her paint is chipped and worn.
Her joints are stiff and her dress is torn.
But still you keep her there and tell everyone you care.
And from her glass box she can only wait and stare.
She waits...
But you still turn your head.

Your wind up doll...
Dances only to your song.
They all just shake their heads.
She's never listened to a word they said.

She's his wind up doll.
Prettiest little girl anyone's saw.
But her eyes are fixed to the back of his head,
Ignored everything anyone's said. (...said...said)

They said:
"Sweetie, his touch will blind you.
Honey, his words will bind you.
Baby, don't play the fool.
Don't wait around and let him rule."

Did she listen?
No, she didn't.
Day in and day out she waits for you.
For you...
To wind her spring.

Your wind up doll...
Your everything, your all.
But only when you want,
Otherwise she gathers dust.

Synesthesia_RC43
08-20-2005, 12:13 PM
haha wow dude pretty good. i hope this song is metaphorical cus that how I saw it. But if it is i would have to say thats a pretty orignal idea i think.

Atom Heart mother
08-20-2005, 06:40 PM
I like the metaphor that is this song, it's original and something a lot of people could understand or even relate too, keep up the good work :thumb: .

Happy_Squirrel
08-21-2005, 12:49 AM
I'm too tired to write a real critique, but I thought it was great overall. Very original idea. Probably the most original thing I've read on here, and I'm not just sayin' that. 9.5/10. :thumb:

If someone crits my song I'll be your special friend (I mean it): http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=378913

Love2Lust
08-21-2005, 01:29 AM
**** man that touched a spot for me, reminds me of my sister, she always falls for the jackasses and I always have to pull her out when shes getting slapped around and beaten into depression...I enjoyed this, the meaning meant something to me, which should make you feel good that you can effect people that way. Thanks for writing this up haha...9/10...

yellow_polka.tie
08-21-2005, 01:38 AM
this is real good, i particularly like the way you introduced the metaphor in the first verse and then used the chorus to explain it's purpose, i can't see any bad spots to be honest,at first the sorta rhyem scheme when u wanted it seems a bit strange but fromt the way it's used it maybe intentional i can't really tell, but overall really really good, 9/10, if u could have a quick look at mine that'd be much appreciated http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=373133

jelly_side_down
08-21-2005, 08:19 PM
Thanks for all the positive feedback everyone! I was a little aprehensive about these lyrics at first. Because I write my lyrics and guitar part basically simultaniously it often turns out that the lyrical structure ends up pretty loose. It's cool to know that people out there could relate to what I wrote. Thanks again!