As yet untitled

[JigsawAndDice]

This is just a poem I wrote, i wote it after my boyfriend split up with me and I was really sad about it. Please crit.

'Cause my minds flooded through
with the imprint of you
my mind is a mess
I cant breathe
Im lost
i just cant shake this dream that was us
im losing the feeling
im losing the high
im losing the hope
and im losing the imprint of you

I feel it slipping
slipping through my mind
Im losing the high
Im losing the hope
Im losing the imprint of you

[ozzfest05]

seems like you have alot of passion in your rhyming...
you should only say this part once:

I feel it slipping
slipping through my mind
Im losing the high
Im losing the hope
Im losing the imprint of you

dont use it at the ending just use it once, and i would like to see you write more to this i think you could add one and it would be good.... hats off most heartbrakers are lame