Another lyric (not real cheery, but not a slit your wrist-er!)

[Wannabe Steve Harris]

I wrote this quite a while back as well. Trying to figure some music around it.

The days are getting shorter
The temperatures are coming down
I often wonder why I spend any time
In this burned out little town

Memories hanging in the air
and on the corners of every street
Love and hate and even death
Rest in the ground beneath my feet

It's so hard to walk away from
Something so etched into your soul
Even while it's familiar poison
Begins to take it's toll

Chorus:
How many times have I said I was gone
Only to see her again
This place has a part of my heart though I wish'd let go
And I'd be off to somewhere I'd never been

At five years old I found this place
In the arms of my mothers addiction
Watching the hands of those around us
Begin to add to the friction

The small town world promises open arms
Embracing you as one of their own
In no time at all that promise of love
Can turn to pain as you've never known

The walls have ears and the streets have eyes
You never know who to trust
At a young age you start to build your walls
Self preservation becomes a must

Chorus

Bridge:
Why not run away? Why would anyone stay? She has gone and died, the tears have all been cried. Is it really that hard to leave, have you forgotten what you believe?

Chorus(repeat)

Fade out of:
Close your eyes and walk away...close your eyes and walk away...close your eyes and walk away

[only_in_dreams723]

very good. i could really feel your emotion....the only part i didnt like was the bridge. but thats just my opinon. still an awesome song.

[dragonzmad]

I wrote this quite a while back as well. Trying to figure some music around it.

The days are getting shorter
The temperatures are coming down
I often wonder why I spend any time
In this burned out little town

Memories hanging in the air
and on the corners of every street
Love and hate and even death
Rest in the ground beneath my feet

It's so hard to walk away from
Something so etched into your soul
Even while it's familiar poison
Begins to take it's toll

Chorus:
How many times have I said I was gone
Only to see her again
This place has a part of my heart though I wish'd let go
And I'd be off to somewhere I'd never been

At five years old I found this place
In the arms of my mothers addiction
Watching the hands of those around us
Begin to add to the friction

The small town world promises open arms
Embracing you as one of their own
In no time at all that promise of love
Can turn to pain as you've never known

The walls have ears and the streets have eyes
You never know who to trust
At a young age you start to build your walls
Self preservation becomes a must

Chorus

Bridge:
Why not run away? Why would anyone stay? She has gone and died, the tears have all been cried. Is it really that hard to leave, have you forgotten what you believe?

Chorus(repeat)

Fade out of:
Close your eyes and walk away...close your eyes and walk away...close your eyes and walk away

awesome. I didnt like the bridge but awesome

[Wannabe Steve Harris]

Hey thanks. It's been so long since I looked at any of these tunes that I am sure after repeated reading I will want to make changes also. Thanks for the critique, etc.

I will look for some of yours to offer opinions as well.

[czGLoRy]

i dont liek "the tempreatures are coming down" just bothers me a lot and
This place has a part of my heart though I wish'd let go
doesnt make any sense, seems like an avg song though

[Wannabe Steve Harris]

i dont liek "the tempreatures are coming down" just bothers me a lot and
This place has a part of my heart though I wish'd let go
doesnt make any sense, seems like an avg song though


That's funny that a line like that (innocuous and not political/offensive, etc) would "bother you a lot"...LOL. But to each his own.

The other line makes sense in the context of the song, what's the problem? The conflict is that this person has issues with his past in this town but at the same time there are things keeping him there, etc. Pretty much the case in many peoples lives and relationships, no?

[shadeddakotabassist]

The days are getting shorter
The temperatures are coming down
I often wonder why I spend any time
In this burned out little town

great job at starting the piece. gives an excellent lead in to what you go on to say.

Memories hanging in the air
and on the corners of every street
Love and hate and even death
Rest in the ground beneath my feet

not much to say about this. so far so good though.

It's so hard to walk away from
Something so etched into your soul
Even while it's familiar poison
Begins to take it's toll

whoah...this definitely hit the mark. don't know if you've actually ever lived in a small town but this is a true portrayal of the life. bravo.

Chorus:
How many times have I said I was gone
Only to see her again
This place has a part of my heart though I wish'd let go
And I'd be off to somewhere I'd never been

I like the chorus. sums up the whole piece but it's not repeating what's already been said. well done.

At five years old I found this place
In the arms of my mothers addiction
Watching the hands of those around us
Begin to add to the friction
O.o...
ok then. I like this stanza. yeah....that's it.

The small town world promises open arms
Embracing you as one of their own
In no time at all that promise of love
Can turn to pain as you've never known

once more a perfect portrayal of the small town life.

The walls have ears and the streets have eyes
You never know who to trust
At a young age you start to build your walls
Self preservation becomes a must

can perfection be over done?

Bridge:
Why not run away? Why would anyone stay? She has gone and died, the tears have all been cried. Is it really that hard to leave, have you forgotten what you believe?

I don't know what the problem was with the bridge. imo it fits and it adds a deeper..almost darker feeling to the song. I like it.

Fade out of:
Close your eyes and walk away...close your eyes and walk away...close your eyes and walk away
I dunno if this is really the best way to end the song. I mean I like it, but it just kinda...I dunno. it's your song...obviously..but..yeah...

[Norma Jean Fan]

This was a very good song, i couldn't make it flow in my head, but hey thats just me. I actually enjoyed reading this song, unlike most of the other "songs" on this website. 10/10

[Wannabe Steve Harris]

This was a very good song, i couldn't make it flow in my head, but hey thats just me. I actually enjoyed reading this song, unlike most of the other "songs" on this website. 10/10

Hey thanks a lot, and to Shad too, for the kind words.

It's been so long since I wrote any lyrics but it was fun pulling these out. I think this forum has motivated me to do some more writing though...

[Wannabe Steve Harris]

great job at starting the piece. gives an excellent lead in to what you go on to say.


not much to say about this. so far so good though.


whoah...this definitely hit the mark. don't know if you've actually ever lived in a small town but this is a true portrayal of the life. bravo.


I like the chorus. sums up the whole piece but it's not repeating what's already been said. well done.


O.o...
ok then. I like this stanza. yeah....that's it.


once more a perfect portrayal of the small town life.


can perfection be over done?


I don't know what the problem was with the bridge. imo it fits and it adds a deeper..almost darker feeling to the song. I like it.


I dunno if this is really the best way to end the song. I mean I like it, but it just kinda...I dunno. it's your song...obviously..but..yeah...


I don't love the end either, I just remember when I was working it out on guitar( I SUCKED by the way) I liked the way it sounded with the simple guitar part at the end. If I was to freshen up the song I think I'd lose/alter it.

[Wannabe Steve Harris]

This was a very good song, i couldn't make it flow in my head, but hey thats just me. I actually enjoyed reading this song, unlike most of the other "songs" on this website. 10/10


Thanks a lot. Yeah I have noticed there are some on here that are pretty scary. I try to always point out the positive though if I can, which is funny seeing that so many of the songs are about negativity, etc!

[Behind Zildjians]

once again... very good lyrics! waht you a vocalist too? double threat :lol:

9.5/10

[Behind Zildjians]

Thanks a lot. Yeah I have noticed there are some on here that are pretty scary. I try to always point out the positive though if I can, which is funny seeing that so many of the songs are about negativity, etc!

my bad guys... :thumb:

[Wannabe Steve Harris]

once again... very good lyrics! waht you a vocalist too? double threat :lol:

9.5/10


I guess I try to "sing" but I am far from good, average at best. I am trying to form a band in my area and if I have to start out singing fine, but I know there has to be about 40,000 guys/chicks better than me...

[CSD & the Soul Machines]

This is pretty good. You have a smooth way of writing, it kinda weaves and winds. I have a few little quibbles(made up a word I think) though. The rhymn scheme is very solid, but it really gets old to me quickly. Nothing against the content by any means, I'm just a fussy-panted fool who doesn't go back to turn the light on when I walk into a room and miss the lightswitch. ANYWAY, the line with "mother's addiction" or something, I had no idea where that came from until I read the bridge (which I don't particularly enjoy). I think that you wanted to make the song about your mother dying from some some of addiction, which is very sad and hope that didn't really happen, but it's hard to pick up on that because that most of the song is about you leaving/remembering an old home, then it shifts into the whole mother/addiction/dying/IloveTacoBell thing. I think you should focus on on of these topics and cut out the other just so it's more cohesive. That or make it so that there is a dicernable connection between the two, because right now it just seems that you were looking for something to throw in there and that came out. Overall I enjoy the wordismmetry. Thank you for looking at my piece. We need some people like you to bring this place back to what it was. That was a weird crit, I apologize. [/crazy]

[Wannabe Steve Harris]

I appreciate any and all criticism (short of "dude that sucks",etc) so thanks.

I think you might be reading too much into the addiction thing though. It was meant to serve as just part of the explanation for why the writer might have come to this place (people that struggle with addiction tend to move around a lot) and help breate a small backstory, etc. The song, not autobiographical at all really except that I did grow up in a semi-small town I guess, is really just about making choices and the difficulty in doing that sometimes, along with a little picture of small town life. I try not to go for the ultra deep meaning stuff that often.

Thanks again.