Perfection (Pure Fiction)

[Guitar Symphony]

I got inspired by the Smashing Pumpkins one day and I wrote this. I think it really brings a whole new side of me. Please check it, I think it's worth the crit.

Verse:
Oh, I love how the mirror asks its questions
Just the way it somehow picks them
And it asks me, "What do you beleive in?"
"Would you comapre yourself to my friend?"
"I call him perfection!"

Chorus:
Why would I want to be perfect?
To live life by the books
And see everything by how it looks
Would I want to beleive in perfection?
Perfection would never want to believe in me

Verse:
Oh, how the people like to judge you
Just the way they all somehow knew
And they know exactly what I beleive in
"Do you beleive in the end?"
I say, "I beleive in Jesus"

(Chorus)

Outro:
What does it mean to be perfect?
In a world that's lost all its soul
And grown in to something so so cold

How could anything be perfect?
And be flawless in all it's ways
And still want to be in this place for one more day

[aerialrevenge]

I like it. Good structure and flow. Good rhyming. Nice meaning also, it has a good moral side to it. nifty title also. 7/10

[ozzfest05]

nice piece, some parts flow better then others, not my favorite topic but it works,

if u get the chance crit mine, Stand up and Fight, or A Fallen Soldier

[Guitar Symphony]

bump. looking for advanced crit

[HypnotiQSorcerer]

You ask and you shall recieve...
I

Verse:
Oh, I love how the mirror asks its questions
Just the way it somehow picks them
And it asks me, "What do you beleive in?"
"Would you comapre yourself to my friend?"
"I call him perfection!"
i see what your trying to get at, but i don't think
it developed how you wanted it to
the second line is a little iffy
i suggest sacrifice a line
something like

"Oh, I love how the mirror asks its questions
And it asks me, "What do you beleive in?"
"Would you comapre yourself to my friend?"
"A friend whom i call perfection"
see how there is a better flow
and the rhymes are a little more in sync

Chorus:
Why would I want to be perfect?
To live life by the books
And see everything by how it looks
Would I want to beleive in perfection?
Perfection would never want to believe in me
total do over
just doesn't Jive well


Verse:
Oh, how the people like to judge you
Just the way they all somehow knew
And they know exactly what I beleive in
"Do you beleive in the end?"
I say, "I beleive in Jesus"
again i know what your trying to say, but its not coming out well together
you can take this verse and spit into two verses and you might have something

(Chorus)

Outro:
What does it mean to be perfect?
In a world that's lost all its soul
And grown in to something so so cold
Cliche

How could anything be perfect?
And be flawless in all it's ways
And still want to be in this place for one more day
useless

i'll give it a 4/10 , though low but it has potential
you need to work on it though
alot manthis could shine up to be a nice peice