perfect words/ help!!!

[stellarmime07]

1st verse
every minute without you i miss you too much
a day you're gone is a dozen roses without your touch
i love to hear your laugh and to see your smile
even though i see you just once in a while
the times together we've just walked around
the fun times we've had just hanging out

Chorus
I know i just can't make you feel the same way that i do
im waiting to long to hear those perfect words from you
the time you look in my eyes and tell me please
im the only one and you want to be with me

2nd verse
the sentimental feelings you give me every day
the way you sing and the beautiful things you say
remember the times that we swam by the pier
living life with really no fear
i think that it always helps having you there
the things weve been through
made me so much closer to you
know looking back at the times that weve had
some that were good and some that were bad
it doesn't make since dwelling over mistakes
give me a chance just maybe one whole day

(need help breaking up the 2nd verse somehow maybe making a third verse out of it)

Chorus
I know i just can't make you feel the same way that i do
im waiting to long to hear those perfect words from you
the time you look in my eyes and tell me please
im the only one and you want to be with me

you're the implausible dream that i never thought could be real
that i can't give up cause to me you're my beautifully rare pearl

Chorus
I know i just can't make you feel the same way that i do
im waiting to long to hear those perfect words from you
the time you look in my eyes and tell me please
im the only one and you want to be with me

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

...

[El_Goodo]

Very very cliched...and you it just doesnt seem like a song the way you phrase everything with big words like implausible. Most people like to use shorter less akward sounding words in songs. But this is just a very generic...emoish girl song.

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

this is just a very generic...emoish girl song.

Wrong. It's just an awful song.

[Pg.99]

That made me cry.

Cause thats 3 minutes of my life that I will NEVER get back.

[aerialrevenge]

I liked it, though it did seem more like poetry then lyrics. It's true it has been done, but what hasn't? It had good flow as i was reading, but i don't know what kind of music will go with it, and how that will turn out. Nothing wrong with big words if you can pull them off, or make them blend. My main problem with it i guess, is how hard it would be to sing. The lines are huge, and unless the music it goes with is really fast, it may be hard to get the full line out. Keep it up though, you know how to write.