Fragile

[.-=ChaoS=-.]

Not much I can say, so here ya go


Fragile
Unstable, unpredictable
Smile, enjoyment or loss of control?
Try me, a violent trick-or-treat
Fragile, watch your step or you will fall

The reasons for the journey will never stop coming to me
But it takes only a single one to set me free

Crash course, resistance is my friend
Squeeze, a fiery end awaits for you
Panic, world-wide catastrophe
Fragile, hit the deck or lose it all

The reasons for the journey will never end, can’t you see?
But it only takes one to draw the last breath out of me

Headway, the broken lines are one
Further, from the truth I’ll always run
Impact, noise and broken glass
Fragile, hit the brakes or smash the skull

Choices, they are no longer mine
Master, a minion of bureaucracy

The reasons for the journey will never stop coming to me
The reasons for the journey are numerous, I’m begging you please
It only takes a single one to set me free
Answer all my pleading and turn your mass destruction on me

Rebellion, psychological revolt
Fragile, let it go the mind’s too full

Forward, the show must go on
Curtains, if the end is near, then bring it on
Chaos, disorder will prevail
Fragile, jump the gun or the bullet strikes you

[aerialrevenge]

I imagined this as a rap song at first for some reason. You didn't stick to one rhyme scheme the whole song through(you choice, just letting you know). The flow was alright, sometimes not so good though. And the topic was used well. 6/10

[SaintSinner]

A couple things.

1. Nine Inch Nails, if you ever heard of them, released a song called fragile. Now, I'm not shooting down your idea and all, but its always nice to be original.

2. Sorta sounds like a rap song, hes right. I personally don't like rap. I think this would be a better punk song, but either way.

3.It needs some work, rewrite a couple times, replace words, all around, just play with it.

6 outta 10 You can fix it.

[.-=ChaoS=-.]

A couple things.

1. Nine Inch Nails, if you ever heard of them, released a song called fragile. Now, I'm not shooting down your idea and all, but its always nice to be original.

I was not aware of this, thanks for bringing it to my attention

2. Sorta sounds like a rap song, hes right. I personally don't like rap. I think this would be a better punk song, but either way.

Don't fret, it is definately not rap


"please lengthen the message to at least three characters"

how's this? **** YOU, COMPUTER!

[PunkyMcEmo]

heh. this would be a pretty bitchin rap. like del the funky homosapien's raps

haha too bad its not. long live good rap

[ozzfest05]

Even if is not rap it still has sketchy areas, but it is not that bad, get a better topic tho, it seems like you dont know excactly what your trying 2 to say