Highly Contagious (Crit 4 Crit) check it

[ozzfest05]

Highly Contagious

Hold your breath as you enter the room,
smoke fills the air in which you try not too consume,
dust in your face, oposite of warm embrace,
can you handle the feeling, the feeling of sickness,
which washes over of you, me as your witness
cant stand the conclusion, inevitable,

yet you must always face it, if my time is now,
i wont leave it in disgrace, but i turn my head,
to look back at you, i now know this feeling,
this feeling is you, its contagious.

Your blood runs cold, you slowly get weak,
this environment is chilling, you dont feel your feet,
dont turn back, and look at the past,
you dont like this feeling, this feeling will last,
you clench your fists as if you were mad,
you look at the dead which included your dad,

your family is gone, you have nothing left,
the sound goes on, as you slowly go def,
people are dead but no one will listen,
they wont do anything, not even miss them,

If my time is now, I wont leave it in disrace,
but i turn my head, to look back at you,
I now know this feeling, this feeling is you,
Its Contagious

all lyrics written by Kyle Hoddinott
Coming soon... recording
comments thanx.

others by me, Stand Up And Fight (http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=374126) ,A Fallen Soldier (http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=373630) The Buried And The Forgotten (http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=375080)

[Gypsy Campervan]

God, write to a meter for once.

[Crimsonpunk]

This song has potential, but some of the rhymes seem forced, and alot of
pointless conjoining words are used, and sometimes they don't make sense.

your family is gone, you have nothing left,
the sound goes on, as you slowly go def,
people are dead but no one will listen,
they wont do anything, not even miss them

i like this bit, i won't point out the spelling, because i'm just as bad.

the verses sort of reminds me of alk3 - while your waiting, but then again, i do listen to alot of alk3.

5.5/10- give it a rewrite, keeping ideas similar, and you should be ok.
Feel free to crit my song, something about memory in the title, you should spot it.

[ozzfest05]

ill try and work some of it out, just i little busy right now with other songs thanks for the crit man