Counting Crows

[El_Goodo]

Here I am,
lying on the ground,
sometmes I feel like a dog in the pound,
but right now I feel free,
like I do when your with me,
just staring in the sky,
no need to say why,
Im just counting crows as they fly on by,

Here I am,
alone in my room,
sometimes I feel like my love won't bloom,
like there's no where I can be,
where someone loves me for me,
maybe I'll find a place in the sky,
where no one will ask why,
and I'll be free to count the crows as they soar on by,

Here I am,
Counting Crows...
And Im starting to realie,
the the free world is in my eye's,
the blackbirds flying in the sunny skies,
they dont know how to lie,
they dont know how it feels to be alone,
they don't know how it feels to be chained to the ground,
maybe one day I'll spread my wings,
and my freedom will be found,
but for now, I'll just stare at the sky,
counting crows as they fly..on by

[forgotton fire]

ok. not bad overall, i like most of the imagery. parts of it don't seem to flow very well or i could just be looking at it wrong. the wording is nice. it seems like it would be a better poem than song. i like it, but to be honest, the lost and/or forgotten love theme is starting to get old. i still like it though. not bad, but not great.
6.75/10
you can crit mine at
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=8806967#post8806967

[andrew]

Sometimes I feel like a Skeeter in a pound.

[El_Goodo]

ok. not bad overall, i like most of the imagery. parts of it don't seem to flow very well or i could just be looking at it wrong. the wording is nice. it seems like it would be a better poem than song. i like it, but to be honest, the lost and/or forgotten love theme is starting to get old. i still like it though. not bad, but not great.
6.75/10
you can crit mine at
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=8806967#post8806967

It's not really about love...is more about freedom.

[Electric Riley]

Here I am,
lying on the ground,
sometmes I feel like a dog in the pound,
but right now I feel free,
like I do when your with me,
just staring in the sky,
no need to say why,
Im just counting crows as they fly on by,

The rhymes are absolutely terrible. I hate them, and I want to burn them in a furnace hotter than the sun. And then tie them to--- Anyway, the flow is good and the content is also good. I love the last line.

Here I am,
alone in my room,
sometimes I feel like my love won't bloom,
like there's no where I can be,
where someone loves me for me,
maybe I'll find a place in the sky,
where no one will ask why,
and I'll be free to count the crows as they soar on by,

Once again, the last line is great, and the rhymes are crap. This verse is a marked improvement on the first one. I like the 4th and 5th lines, even thought they're not at all original.

Here I am,
Counting Crows...
And Im starting to realie,
the the free world is in my eye's,
the blackbirds flying in the sunny skies,
they dont know how to lie,
they dont know how it feels to be alone,
they don't know how it feels to be chained to the ground,
maybe one day I'll spread my wings,
and my freedom will be found,
but for now, I'll just stare at the sky,
counting crows as they fly..on by

This verse is heaps better. I really like it. The rhymes are somewhat better, but still not great. The second half of this verse is wonderful.

Overall, good, with a big bad thing. Rhymes. Your rhymes are too simple and too forced and too cliché. Good content and flow though. 6.5/10

Can you at least read this? Maybe leave a comment? http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=369143