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View Full Version : 'Ever get the feeling youv'e been had' - Crit 4 crit


Crimsonpunk
07-20-2005, 10:26 AM
Okay, i know the chorus is plain, but it doesn't excuse it so add that in if you want to crit it. I already have a version of this song recorded, which you can hear if you want to e-mail me or something to that effect. Any suggestions would be appreciated, try to keep in mind the lyrics are dependant on chord changes, some sung quicker than others.

v1
We stop at a great place,
Only wishing for a grip on it's appeal
And with no sense of irony
I'm ill armed to take the world on in full
Find out what you want
Sit back in hillarity
If we don't laugh now, then when
And why suspended, in pretensive revenge, elected again
So many mice that play as men

v2
We stop at a new place
Only wishing for a way to see this through
And don't ask me
Cause i can't tell you
Find out what you want
And hunt it down
like it's going out of style and grace
Erased, then sent back with red tape
We changed faces, we never earned place

chorus
And i wish i could stick around
Cause i can see your dancing and your looking so beautiful
Iv'e got to go, i'm late for my own f**king show
And i really wish that i could stick around
Cos i can see you dancing and your looking so beautiful
Don't wait around,
I will be back before we all come down

Chrz
Demus

fingis
07-20-2005, 05:56 PM
nice song. nice imagery

Crimsonpunk
07-24-2005, 05:26 PM
Cheerz man, although it's a little vague. Anyone else?
If anybody want's it, iv'e got the song on my comp, so e-mail me at
Punkb0bskapantz@aol.com
And i'll send you the song, then you can tell me what you reckon-if anyones got the time. As always, any advice is much appreciated
Peace, love and punk rock
Demus