Random Beautiful

[Disco Dragon]

Symmetry has replaced classic beauty
Lips and eyes no longer need speech or sight
As long as they continue to look alright
And emotions, what are they?
Is that what this plastic smile is supposed to mean?
I just thought I was being with the trend
I am unaccountable for what you see
It’s not necessarily what you get, but please
Nobody needs what they think they do
Lost love should have stayed unfound
But I guess a bruised heart is better than a stale one
Just give me a little more time
I’ll tell you that friendship is the way to go
Hugs and kisses, all part of our previous fairytale
I got what I needed, now give me my space
But don’t worry, things won’t change
Only the circumstances will
Only the conversations
Only the attempted restraint
I’ll use that as a diversion
Please forgive, but don’t ever forget me
I’ll be too far away for that
And that’s why it can’t hurt
Because my emotions aren’t strong enough
So it’s better to end it early
And stay up late thinking about what could have been
Would have been
Should have been symmetrical

[Sloth]

this is very nice.. Sorry, I have nothing helpful to say. I really like this

[Disco Dragon]

Thanks very much, Sloth. I'm glad you enjoyed it. This is one of the most personal things I've written since being on these forums. I've been going through some rough times with the girl that I love, and I needed to vent a little bit.

[Iwannabearockstar08]

i can totally relate, and i think a lot of people can, and that's really what i look for in a good song! but it's kind of a blur, it doesnt have any breaks, or variation from verse to chorus, that's really the only thing i saw that i would change.

[factor46]

This is a very nice piece. It flowed great all the way through. It is obvious that the meaning is personal, but your portrayed it very well. I'm glad I took the time to read it. And I like the way you structured it. I like it when people don't format the song into different stanzas. Don't change a thing. :thumb: 9/10.



Would you do me a favor and crit mine? It's really short, and nothing special compared to this, but I'd appreciate it. :D
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=367309
-Thanks.

[islamicbob5342]

This gets a thumbs up from Chuck :thumb:

[emo=elmow/otheL]

Nice man. I look the free form structure.(Is that an oxymoron?) 10/10. Awesome.
Here take a look at this.(please) (or else) :)

http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=367770

[Disco Dragon]

Thanks again to everyone, I'll try to get around to critting yours as soon as possible.