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pardonmepete
07-14-2005, 10:17 PM
Alright, this is the first keyboard song I've written. I'm just starting to play keyboard, matter of fact, I don't even own one. I borrowed the one I used here off my g/f, played for two days and wrote this song on the second night. Then practice the 3rd and recorded on the 4th. Let me know what you think.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/9/jamesnorman_music.htm

Lyrics:

Wicked You

You can hold a torch to the tip of your tongue, wicked you
and you can wave a stick and avoid a plague,
wicked you
and now we know that things just aren't the same
lets just sit around and wait for a day
when our hearts won't beat but our pulse is in a race
the final lap is up, we'll finish in last place

and you...don't know what it's like
to shake the hand of a devil and stare him in the eyes
but you... can run about
on a little playground where children live to play
if it's sunday......then you don't have to say
anything

the days inch by but they don't leave a trace,
wicked you
the candles burn your toes, a primitive pain
wicked you
the lights go out and it always feels the same
my bodies always numb and my minds about the same
and now we know mornings gonna come
like every day before, and everyday to come

and you...don't know what it's like
to shake the hand of a devil and stare him in the eyes
but you... can run about
on a little playground where children live to play
if it's sunday......then you don't have to say
anything



Sorry I haven't replied to any posts yet, I have to get in bed cause I have to work in the morning...but I will for sure crit some after work tomorrow evening....thanks for understanding....

James Norman

Guitar_fool202
07-14-2005, 11:54 PM
take this or to the songwritng forums youd get better reviews over there for your song.

pardonmepete
07-16-2005, 01:28 AM
ok...I just assumed that the audio arena would be most appropriate. Can someone explain the difference between this and the songwriting forum? Thanks.

P.S. I'm going to post it over there

pardonmepete
07-17-2005, 10:37 PM
bump..I really want to know what the audio arena is for and why my song would get better reviews in the songwriting forums?

stoivenismyname
07-19-2005, 10:10 AM
i think the song writing forum is for posting lyrics...neways, personally im not a big fan of the piano song, but i really like your other songs, especially 'Goin Down South', its on my computer now, keep it up!!! :thumb:

edit: imo, Audio Arena is for ppl who want to listen to other ppls songs, and Song Writing forum is for ppl who enjoy reading other ppl's songs.

pardonmepete
07-19-2005, 04:15 PM
Ok, thats what I thought too...but considering I posted a link to the song I thought it would fit best in the audio arena. I just added the lyrics too cause most places I've posted like for you to post lyrics when you post an mp3 up. But thanks for clearing that up. I guess it would have been appropriate in either forum.

Thanks a lot for listening to my songs. I'm glad you like some of them. Hopefully my piano skills will improve.....and I will actually get to record this song on a real piano....Thanks!

James Norman

HypnotiQSorcerer
07-19-2005, 04:43 PM
i can't really hear it well,
the quality is not that good

personally i think the song could be arranged better

its rather light hearted
but the words are dark

i suggest using some petatonic scales
to darken it up

keep at it

good job

stoivenismyname
07-19-2005, 09:45 PM
Thanks a lot for listening to my songs. I'm glad you like some of them. Hopefully my piano skills will improve.....and I will actually get to record this song on a real piano....Thanks!

James Norman

No worries mate :thumb: