Red Vs. Blue

[Kif]

So today I rekindled my love for this show. For the people that don't know, Red Vs. Blue is an 'internet tv show'. The show is based on Halo, and features 2 teams (Red and blue, dumbass) who are both trying to defeat the other team, and at the same time trying to figure out why they are doing it.

It's really funny, and the last season just made me laugh to no end. The humour in the show is always funny and a lot of it is sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek. And still, the story lines are always new and the plots for the seasons (The show just finished it's 3rd season) are always really entertaining to watch.

So in this thread, we discuss Red Vs. Blue. If you haven't seen it, visit Red Vs. Blue (http://www.redvsblue.com), although you can only see a few of the older seasons and all of season 3.

[Klown]

I saw an episode when they were discussing the internet vs real life - it was hilarious. :p

[Kif]

I think I have that downloaded, it's amazing

Caboose: A.I... What's the A stand for?
Church: Artificial.
Caboose: ...What's the I-
Church: Intelligence.
Caboose: Ooohhhhhhhhh... what was the A again?
Church: Let's move on.

[Klown]

I'm downloading some more episodes now.

[Chanandler Bong]

Where can you download those from?

[Kif]

You can download seasons 1 and 2 here (http://www.sponsorsvsfreeloaders.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Downloads&file=index&req=viewdownload&cid=4) I think, I haven't tried it but it looks like they have all the episodes. You can download all of season 3 from the official site in the first post

Episodes are between 5-15 minutes, so some will be hefty filesizes

[Chanandler Bong]

Hmmm, the file sizes arent as big as I thought but, it will take some time for me to download since I am a 56ker.

[MattyBlade]

My friend showed me it. It's hilarious but these guys have too much time on their hands

[Kif]

They must make quite a bit from it. The subscribers pay for a season, you can buy merch as well.

It's not like every other webmaster with something like this has more to do in their life than these guys

I heard there's a RvB video on the collector's edition of Halo 2, which I really want to see

[Chanandler Bong]

So, after three hours of downloading, I managed to download 4 episodes. Tis going to take me a long long time to get them all. :(

[Ganondorf]

I saw the one where 'are they just sleeping?'

'Good Game, GG man, gg'

****ing Ace :Lol:

[Turkish]

Season One was by far the best...

Simmons "Hey Man, have you ever wondered why we're here?"
Griff "Yeah man, it's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? Are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there a God...you know...with a plan for us? I dunno man, but it keeps me up at night."
Simmons "What are you talking about...I mean, why are we here...in this canyon?"
Griff "Ohh....right."
Simmons "What was all that stuff about god?"
Griff "What..oh nothing"
Simmons "You wanna talk about it?"
Griff "No, I'm good"
Simmons "You sure?"
Griff "Mhm"

[Jack-The-Ripper]

season one was great

[Kif]

Grif: What the ****?
Donut: What?
Simmons: (turns around) What is that thing?
Donut: What thing?
Grif: There's something on your head...
Donut: What, is it a spider? Get it off!
Simmons: No, it's not a spider, it's, like a... blue thing.
Donut: What, like a blue spider? Get it off!
Grif: It's not a spider, calm down. It's some kinda, fuzzy pulsating thing.

[Ill Mitch]

Good stuff.

[JACKROXYOU]

Sarge:well what do you think it looks like?
Red dude: well kinda like a puma
Sarge: the shoe?

[Kif]

* Fade in to the blues, with Tucker holding the weapon of mass destruction *

Church: You got this thing where?
Tucker: Right up there.
Caboose: So... You went back in time, and didn't change... anything.
Church: Uh yeah, I was just like a, passive observer.
Caboose: I would have tried to save your life. ...For me!
Church: Yeah I didn't think of that. Hey, Tucker I don't think it's a good idea that you're keeping that thing.
Tucker: You're just pissed because you don't have one.
Church: No, you must have me confused with Tex. She's been staring at you non-stop since you found that thing.

*Cut to Tex staring at the weapon like it's the last piece of cheesecake *

Tex: ...That's not true.
Church: You haven't taken your eyes off it.
Tex: Yes I have.
Church: Then why haven't you looked at me the entire time I've been talkin'?
Tex: I'm looking at you right now. (still looking at the sword)
Church: Nu-hoh you're not!
Tex: I've already seen you. Not too impressed.
Caboose: I would have tried to save Tex, too...
Church: Well I didn't Caboose, I didn't try to save me, I didn't try to save Tex, and I sure as hell didn't make millions of copies of myself trying to keep the bomb from goin' off.
Caboose: Oh. Because that was my next suggestion.
Church: Leave me alone, Caboose. I didn't wanna mess with the timeline.
Caboose: Time, line? Time isn't made out of lines. It is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round.
Tex: Man, that thing is really shiny.

[Gnarmageddon]

I saw season one of it on DVD today at Gamestop and contemplated buying it.

[thedeadwalk!]

Season One was by far the best...

Simmons "Hey Man, have you ever wondered why we're here?"
Griff "Yeah man, it's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? Are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there a God...you know...with a plan for us? I dunno man, but it keeps me up at night."
Simmons "What are you talking about...I mean, why are we here...in this canyon?"
Griff "Ohh....right."
Simmons "What was all that stuff about god?"
Griff "What..oh nothing"
Simmons "You wanna talk about it?"
Griff "No, I'm good"
Simmons "You sure?"
Griff "Mhm"
I love that one too.

Also when they're trying to figure out what the warthog is, and they think a puma is a made up animal.

[JimbobTheSquirrel]

* Fade in to the blues, with Tucker holding the weapon of mass destruction *

Church: You got this thing where?
Tucker: Right up there.
Caboose: So... You went back in time, and didn't change... anything.
Church: Uh yeah, I was just like a, passive observer.
Caboose: I would have tried to save your life. ...For me!
Church: Yeah I didn't think of that. Hey, Tucker I don't think it's a good idea that you're keeping that thing.
Tucker: You're just pissed because you don't have one.
Church: No, you must have me confused with Tex. She's been staring at you non-stop since you found that thing.

*Cut to Tex staring at the weapon like it's the last piece of cheesecake *

Tex: ...That's not true.
Church: You haven't taken your eyes off it.
Tex: Yes I have.
Church: Then why haven't you looked at me the entire time I've been talkin'?
Tex: I'm looking at you right now. (still looking at the sword)
Church: Nu-hoh you're not!
Tex: I've already seen you. Not too impressed.
Caboose: I would have tried to save Tex, too...
Church: Well I didn't Caboose, I didn't try to save me, I didn't try to save Tex, and I sure as hell didn't make millions of copies of myself trying to keep the bomb from goin' off.
Caboose: Oh. Because that was my next suggestion.
Church: Leave me alone, Caboose. I didn't wanna mess with the timeline.
Caboose: Time, line? Time isn't made out of lines. It is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round.
Tex: Man, that thing is really shiny.
What the ****? I thought I had them all, but I haven't seen that one! Season three still going?

Simmons: Hey man, have you ever wondered why we're here?
Griff: No, I haven't. Semper Fi, bitch

[Amish Pornstar]

Episode 39 is the best, hands down.

[SilverSpoon]

I love this series. I kind of miss the Halo 1 setting, though. Halo 2 looks too dark and grim for such a hilarious show.

[FlyingPaul_83]

There is no video of red vs. blue in the collectore edition of halo 2, form what I have looked at on the dvd.

[littledrummerboy]

The thanksgiving day PSA was the most hilarious thing I have EVER seen.

[Turkish]

I love that one too.

Also when they're trying to figure out what the warthog is, and they think a puma is a made up animal.


haha yeah, season one was by far my favorite.


"What are they talking about?"
"What?"
"I asked, what are they talking about now?"
"Goddamn I'm getting so sick and tired of you asking that question."
"Hey, don't yell at me...you're the one with the sniper rifle. Don't expect me to sit up here and play with my dick all day."
"Ok ok ok...they're just sitting there and talking. That's what they were doing five minutes ago when you asked me, that's what they're doing now. So five minutes from now when you ask me 'What are they doing?' The answer will be, they're still just standing there and they're still just talking."
...
...
"What are they talking about"
"I ****ing hate you."

[Puma]

You rekindeled my love for this. I just watched a few more today and they're still hilarious. None as funny as the real life vs. Internet one though.

[Scythe404]

Sarge: I have an important announcement to make.
Grif: Is the war over?
Sarge: That's exactly it private. War's over, we won. Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna hold a parade in your honour. I get to drive the float, and simmons here..IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!"
Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm sir.

Caboose: Just stay calm Andy, everything will be okay.
Andy: Really..i'm okay..I..like explosions. You, on the other hand, look a little nervous.
Caboose: You know, i always get a little nervous during battle...i think's its cause we never win.
Andy: Ah, don't sweat it. If they get in the base...i'll just explode and kill everyone.
Caboose: Wouldnt...that..kill..us too?
Andy: Hey! You can't make an omelette with blowin up a couple of eggs.
Caboose: ...................I like eggs.
Andy: Me too.


Sarge: "Alright, everyone in the jeep!"
Simmons: "Shotgun!"
Grif: "Shotg..f***!"
Donut: "Shotgun's Lap!"
Simmons: "F***!"

Sarge: Alright everyone, get ready for you orders. Donut!
Donut: Yes sir.
Sarge: Scream like a woman.
Donut: Can do. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! I'm too young to die...i'm too pretty to...
Sarge: Grif, prepare to sacrifice yourself for a nearby superior officer. Simmons, kiss *** at will.
Simmons: You're both an excellent leader, and a handsome man sir.
Sarge: Good work, Simmons. Everyone duck!
Grif: Permission to assist Donut sir?
Sarge: Negative, continue with operation meat shield. Remember, just because your bones are broken, doesn't mean they won't stop bullets from hitting me!
Simmons: Good call, sir!
Sarge: You're on your way to a medal simmons, in fact, medals all around. A purple heart for Grif, a pink heart for Donut, and a brown nose for Simmons.
Donut: I haven't even seen paris yet!

[supra_speed]

Pvt Donut is hilarious. abd o malley. hes just lame.

[Interstate]

It's not as funny as some people make it out to be (i.e my friend)

[FlyingPaul_83]

Have they made any episodes using halo 2? if so, which ones?

[Zakath]

Sarge: Alright everyone, get ready for you orders. Donut!
Donut: Yes sir.
Sarge: Scream like a woman.
Donut: Can do. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! I'm too young to die...i'm too pretty to...
Sarge: Grif, prepare to sacrifice yourself for a nearby superior officer. Simmons, kiss *** at will.
Simmons: You're both an excellent leader, and a handsome man sir.
Sarge: Good work, Simmons. Everyone duck!
Grif: Permission to assist Donut sir?
Sarge: Negative, continue with operation meat shield. Remember, just because your bones are broken, doesn't mean they won't stop bullets from hitting me!
Simmons: Good call, sir!
Sarge: You're on your way to a medal simmons, in fact, medals all around. A purple heart for Grif, a pink heart for Donut, and a brown nose for Simmons.
Donut: I haven't even seen paris yet! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

What season is that from?

[ThePinkPanther]

Partying on the internet

'Where is everybody"
"I don't know, probably off masturbating"

[ToyDolls2]

WoW! Not funny.

[Scythe404]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

What season is that from?

Season Three, Episode 56. Second last episode of Season Three, and one of the best RvB episodes ever.

[Ganondorf]

What are you mod of?

[Jim Hull]

I heard there's a RvB video on the collector's edition of Halo 2, which I really want to see

No, but what there is, is a short film behind the scenes of RvB. Meeting the guys and seeing them work (if you can call it work) etc.

Ep 39 is great, one of the best. I really like the humpday challange ep they did, that was funny.

[Solar]

i've seen the first 2 seasons, Red vs Blue is hilarious.

[Six Foot Revolver]

You can download seasons 1 and 2 here (http://www.sponsorsvsfreeloaders.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Downloads&file=index&req=viewdownload&cid=4) I think, I haven't tried it but it looks like they have all the episodes. You can download all of season 3 from the official site in the first post

Episodes are between 5-15 minutes, so some will be hefty filesizes
Will download these later :thumb:

[Kif]

Pvt Donut is hilarious. abd o malley. hes just lame.
Caboose > Donut

[Kif]

Sarge: May I introduce, our new light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four inch armor plating, maaag buffer suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12-LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.
Simmons: Why 'Warthog' sir?
Sarge: Because M12-LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
Grif: No, but... why 'Warthog'? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig...
Sarge: Say that again?
Grif: I think it looks more like a puma.
Sarge: What in sam hell is a puma?
Simmons: Uh... you mean like the shoe company?
Grif: No, like a puma. It's a big cat. Like a lion.
Sarge: You're making that up.
Grif: I'm telling you, it's a real animal!
Sarge: Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.
Simmons: Yes sir!

[Klown]

Caboose > Donut
Yeah Caboose is my favourite.

Caboose: Seargant look! A sleeping person!

Seargant: He's not sleeping son, he's dead.

Caboose: Oh good, at first I thought that was me, because I am blue and I like to sleep, but if he is dead that cannot be me, that would be silly.

Seargant: No doubt he was killed by our very enemy! Once again I find myself torn, on one hand there's one less blue in the universe, but now Docs got a bigger body count than me! And that just wont do. No sir. Rest in peace. Scumbag.

Caboose: LOOK! More sleeping people! It must be nap time! But who has nap time now? I think these people are just making up times...

[ThePinkPanther]

"I'm a pacifist"
Caboose - "Your a thing That babies suck on"
Tucker - "Dude, thats a pedophile"

[ThePatient]

I try to download the episodes and it goes at 4kbps... :confused:

[Scythe404]

Sarge: May I introduce, our new light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four inch armor plating, maaag buffer suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12-LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.
Simmons: Why 'Warthog' sir?
Sarge: Because M12-LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
Grif: No, but... why 'Warthog'? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig...
Sarge: Say that again?
Grif: I think it looks more like a puma.
Sarge: What in sam hell is a puma?
Simmons: Uh... you mean like the shoe company?
Grif: No, like a puma. It's a big cat. Like a lion.
Sarge: You're making that up.
Grif: I'm telling you, it's a real animal!
Sarge: Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.
Simmons: Yes sir!

Sarge: Look here, these things look like Tusks. And what kind of animal has tusks?
Grif: A walrus.
Sarge: Didn't i just tell ya to stop making up animals?

*From across the Canyon - Watching through sniper rifle*

Tucker: What is that thing?
Church: I don't know, it looks like they got some kinda car down there.
Tucker: A car? How come they get a car?
Church: What are you complaining about?! We're about to get a tank in the next drop.
Tucker: You can't pick up chicks in a tank.
Church: You could bitch about anything, couldn't you? What chicks are we gonna pick up anyway? And how would we pick them up in a car that looks like that?!
Tucker: What kind of car is it?
Church: I don't know, i've never seen a car that looks like that before. It looks like uh..a big cat or something.
Tucker: Oh, you mean a puma?
Church: Yeah, there you go.

[Mr. Hankie]

I can't remember what the whole convo was, but the one with where one guy told the other guy to quit making up animals was hilarious.

[Scythe404]

I can't remember what the whole convo was, but the one with where one guy told the other guy to quit making up animals was hilarious.

Sarge: So, unless anyone has any other magical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, i think we're gonna stick with...'The Warthog.' How bout it Grif?
Grif: No sir. No more suggestions.
Sarge: You sure? How about Bigfoot?
Grif: That's okay.
Sarge: Unicorn?
Grif: No, really. I'm cool.
Sarge: Sasquatch?
Simmons: Leprechaun?
Grif: Hey! He doesn't need any help.
Sarge: Phoenix?
Grif: *sighs* Christ.
Sarge: Hey Simmons, what's the name of that mexican lizard..eats all the goats.
Simmons: That would be the Chupacabra sir.
Sarge: Hey Grif. Chupathingy how bout that? It's got a ring to i.t

[Mr. Hankie]

Not sure that was it. I think it was when Sarge screamed "goddamit, quit making up animals" or something.

[eseer erre]

Assorted quotes, from wikipedia.

Caboose, getting in touch with his dark side: I am thinking about kittens... gah! Kit-tens covered in spikes! That... makes... me angry! [leaps down among Battle Creek players] YEEEAAARRRHHHHHH!.... MY NAME IS MICHAEL J. CABOOSE... AND I HATE BABIES!

Caboose speaks to the dead Battle Creek players after his berserker killing spree: I WILL EAT YOUR UNHAPPINESS!

Caboose: YOUR TOAST HAS BEEN BURNED, AND NO AMOUNT OF SCRAPING WILL REMOVE THE BLACK PARTS!

Caboose: I don't want to be dead! I want to be alive! Or, a cowboy!

Carboose: We're in the future! Things are very shiny here.

Caboose, while looking for the mark to set the bomb on comes across the X: That is not an X... that is a plus sign.

Church: I can't believe I actually died for this war.

Church, dying, to Tucker [strained]: I just want you to know... I always hated you. I always hated you the most.

Church (to O'Malley): I have half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees.

Tucker: Aw, man, I hate plans. That means we have to do stuff.

Sarge, contributing to the conversation about irony: I think it would be ironic if our guns didn't shoot bullets, but instead squirted a healing salve that cured all wounds!

Sarge comes across a field of dead red and blue soldiers: Hello? Is anyone OK? Are there any survivors? Preferably any red survivors? Don't let that discourage you from speaking up if you're blue! I won't step on your neck, or anything like that...

Sarge on how to get into O'Malley's fortress: And using spare parts from the warthog, we can construct what I like to call. The Grif-Cannon...

Simmons, Explaining to sarge how Lopez's disembodied head can fire a turret: He was very determined.

Grif reacting to hearing that Tex can't carry the volleybomb: See, girls act like they're so tough, but the first time they need a couch moved, who do they call?
[Tex glares at him]
Pleasedon'tkillme!

Donut, retracing his steps: Right. I know it was Tuesday, because that's the day I washed my underwear. And since I don't like to let my armor touch my bare skin, on the account of I chafe really easily, I remember thinkin', <turns towards the Warthog vehicle> "Where can I hang out with no pants on?"

* Doc: You know, I really think we should try a NON-violent approach to resolve this.
O'Malley: I agree. Except replace the word "non" with "extremely," and after the word "violent," include the phrase, "BLOOD EXPLOSION EXTRAORDINAIRE!" HAHAHAHA!

O'Malley, Charging Grif and Sarge with his rocket launcher: Oblivion is at hand!
Doc: Cover your ears guys, this thing is really loud!

O'Malley: Today is the day we seize our destiny!
Doc: Do we really have to seize destiny? Can't we just invite it to join our online circle of friends?
O'Malley: No. And stop sending me those invites.

[Kif]

This is getting bumped because season 4 has officially started in typical RvB fashion. Tucker is hilarious in this episode. You can download it here (http://rvb.roosterteeth.com/archive/).

Also, does anyone have an .avi of episodes 43 and 29? If they do, can they YSI them?

[Scythe404]

Yeah the new episode is a good start.

Caboose: He will wait until he thinks i am done talking....then he will start talking....
*Silence*
Church: Okay...
Caboose: Told you so!
Church: GODDAMNIT!
Caboose: Classic Church

[The_Flash!!!!]

tucker: hey i came down here to lay some pipe bow-chicka-bow-wow
so i here you got sisters! bow-chicka-who are twins!-bow-wow!

Church: all i know is that it was slimey and had lots of teeth
Tucker: kinky

[the Blue Team is talking about its tank]
Church: You know what? I could blow up the whole god**** world with this thing.

caboose: my dad always said why buy the cow when you could get the milk for free
Church: did you just call my girlfriend a cow?!
tucker: no i think he just called her a slut!

Caboose: I should've known. She didn't like me. Girls... never... like me.
Tucker: Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you.
Caboose: I like me.

Church: So how are you doing Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?
Caboose: I think so. That guy Tex is really a robot... and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot.
Church: ...Yeah. That's right. I'm a gay robot.

Tucker: All my life I've had girls tell me, "Not if you were the last man on Earth'.
[Laughs]
Tucker: Well, that may be true, but let's see what happens when I'm the last man on Earth with a sweet ***, pimped out ride, bitch!

Donut: Politics gets me sooo horny! Check out my webcam pics at PresidentialSluts.com!

Church: Then she beat Jimmy to death with his own skull.
Tucker: What? That doesn't seem physically possible.
Church: That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
[cut to Planet Sidewinder. Tex is beating Jimmy with his own skull]
Pvt. Jimmy: This doesn't seem physically possible!
[grunts and dies]

Church: i just get everybody the samething
Tucker: leeme guess everones getting a lump of coal...
Church: **** no! you know how much coal costs? like 5$ a ton..im not spending that much on you losers! your all getting a lump of smoal
Tucker: whats smoal?
Church: it's a knock off synthetic coal..just as good as the real thing, cept when you burn it it doesn't make any heat it just makes smoke
Tucker: What?! how does it make smoke with no heat?!
Church: the **** do i know ask the fine makers of smoal

(church shooting off ordements)
Church: i guess this year it's not ho ho ho! it's just ho ho!
Simmons: cut that out *******!!
(church shoots off another)
Church: oh! know you just got one ho!
Tucker: i wish i just had one h-
Church: oh just shut the **** up tucker