Whats The Point

[VivaLaSam461]

Hey, Ok well I wrote this little song real quick in Summer school and I just want some crits, or if you can add on to it. Thanks :D

Whats the point of caring
When all it brings is pain.
And never ever knowing if she feels the same.
Whats the point of living
When it will sometime end
Like the relationship you once condemed.
Whats the point of knowing
When its all just a lie.
Do us a favor and open up your eyes.
To see what we are going through
Each and everytime
Every time that I beleived you you said you
Were truthful this time...

[Agrim]

Horrible structure and rhyming scheme. This needs a hole crap-load of work. It's a decent idea, I suppose. But c'mon man I hope you weren't trying very hard. I'll give it a 4/10.

[Popeye]

I'm sorry, I'm usually anice guy when it comes to critting but this was really bad. No offense, but it needs a bunch of work. IT's very cliched and a little out there. I can feel your emotion but you're saying it all wrong, fix it up, and you'll be good. Structure, rhyme cheme was alittle off near the end, and try something a bit unique. Mess around until you find something you like. Until then, it sucks, bad.

[VivaLaSam461]

Ok dude thanks, yeah i wrote it quickly but hey, im a new writer. Thanks

[red_fox]

L5,6 and L 12, 13 were good. But as aforementioned, the rhyme scheme is poor.

[SMOK3]

Do the teach song writing classes in Summer School ;)