Again, no Title

[Riding The Short Bus]

This song is about Suicide. I need a title for this one too, so if ya got any ideas let me know. This again was like a 15 minute one, If I write a song it usually happens at random time when inspiration hits. Hope you enjoy, and please crit. And am pretty sure you guys can find the chorus by yourself, and the chorus would probably have a different feel than the rest of the song. I haven't written the music for it yet.


Blades don't need to be re-laoded
and bullets will not kill
when the skies darken
and my world fades away
right before my eyes
I try to think of a better day
Try to think of a life that should be saved
I was only 17 when I died

No one shed a tear
even seemed to care
another life wasted
the world goes on
One less person
one more day gone away

So many mistakes I've made
more regrets than yesterday
To much to fix
as it all fades away
so much hate kept held inside
I'm gonna bleed it all out today
And as I close my eyes
I know they will never open again

And no one shed a tear
even seemed to care
another life wasted
the world goes on
One less person
one more day gone away

I scream these words out loud
Secrecst I've kept inside
Felling I try and hide
eat me up alive
as it all fades away
I breathe my last breath
one step closer to death
No more regrets

here are my three other songs so far

1. http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=361545

2. http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=361347

3. http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=361002

[Popeye]

I liked it but I am really into emo rock, so this fits in nicely wih me. It is, in fact, a suicide-mostly-depressing song. by the way, you spelled "secrets" and "feeling" wrong. Other than that this was great. I can think of points in my life and relate to the message here. Great job.

Names:
Suicide song
Again
Unnoticed
No More Regrets
Passed-By
Reloadable Blades
Popeye Rules

you know, something along those lines. I believe the song title is very personal and can relate to anything in your life which is found rather important. It can be anything from a tramatic moment in your life to your telephone number. As long as it makes sense to you. Have fun.

p.s. I was just saying that because I can't think of any really good ones, anyway...

[Riding The Short Bus]

It works out cause it was supposed to be emo rock, that is the kinda music I am into right now. heh, I am pretty bad at spelling. Thanks for the crit and the song title Ideas. I like the last title on your list it's my favorite.

[SMOK3]

It works out cause it was supposed to be emo rock, that is the kinda music I am into right now. heh, I am pretty bad at spelling. Thanks for the crit and the song title Ideas. I like the last title on your list it's my favorite.

Well I'm currently using the title "Popeye Rules," so may the best song win :naughty: Although there are too many songs its seems that are suicide/depressing, I still enjoyed what you wrote... I was thinking, for a title With Closed Eyes....


Please Crit Mine, Champions Are Born

[Popeye]

Aww... Thanks guys. "Popeye Rules" should be a 1 hit wonder in no time.

[masada]

If I were depressed, I think that I would really like this. Right now, though, I don't see much in it. It obviously seems like an emo song, and you wrote a quite good one at that. Nice.

[just a statistic]

i think this beats a lot of emo-rock lyrics because if they're about suicide they're often in the future tense i like the 'I was only 17 when I died' part because it shows that the person died already.

-No one shed a tear- also seperates it as it would often be no-one WILL shed a tear.

I don't really like emo lyrics myself as they make me think of the life i had but this is good

please crit mine http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=360263

[Riding The Short Bus]

Bump

[Leaves]

Dude, read the RULES (http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=168150). Moron.

[Riding The Short Bus]

Refering to mass post? I been on herer a while and all my songs where on like pages 5 and 6 so I found em all and bumped them, then went to critique other peoples. 07-04-2005, 10:06 PM is the date and time on this one