PDA

View Full Version : I will find myself out before I buy a stairwell


Understanding In a Crash
07-03-2005, 11:55 PM
I haven't written in awhile.

I will find myself out before I buy a stairwell .

55 miles per hour was my last stand
Going out of style through the long island wind’s
Remembrance of the last person who walked through your heart
Bell, bow tied to the handle
Ringing with only broken parts
How did I manage to be broken, but not easily fixed
Give the victim, the oxygen mask.

Everybody seems to be the same
The way the rerun will always end in tragedy
We could hold hands and still be at our best
But we will wait until we remember that time does not trust in this.

With fireflies and fireworks coating the air
On the mark of independence, love doesn’t dare.
Could we have made it out alive if I knew that I was driving with broken headlights?
Could my heart be illuminated next to the southern state parkway?
I can finally sleep where I belong, and wait forever my love.

Everybody seems to be the same
The way the rerun will always end in tragedy
We could hold hands and still be at our best
But we will wait until we remember that time does not trust in this.

Never really recovered from an illness that I was exposed to 3 years ago
Didn’t know it’d bite back 6 times harder
And none for good luck.
What awaits me now, is more then a pat on the back and a better luck next time
“Dan you tried your best and now you must be laid to waste.”

Everybody seems to be the same
The way the rerun will always end in tragedy
We could hold hands and still be at our best
But we will wait until we remember that time does not trust in this.

Hope is put into a glass jar
Like the fireflies we collected as kids
Those fireflies would light up our rooms as we slept
But just like hope those fireflies were found dead.

Distance Distortion Factor
07-04-2005, 02:19 AM
I haven't written in awhile.

I will find myself out before I buy a stairwell .

55 miles per hour was my last stand
Going out of style through the long island wind’s
Remembrance of the last person who walked through your heart
Bell, bow tied to the handle
Ringing with only broken parts
How did I manage to be broken, but not easily fixed
Give the victim, the oxygen mask.

(Very nice opener....love the last two lines especially)

Everybody seems to be the same
The way the rerun will always end in tragedy
We could hold hands and still be at our best
But we will wait until we remember that time does not trust in this.

With fireflies and fireworks coating the air
On the mark of independence, love doesn’t dare.
Could we have made it out alive if I knew that I was driving with broken headlights?
Could my heart be illuminated next to the southern state parkway?
I can finally sleep where I belong, and wait forever my love.

(This has nice flow but its a little confusing...did someone die? has your heart been broken...I'm really lost as to what your trying to convey in this verse, might want to elaborate)

Everybody seems to be the same
The way the rerun will always end in tragedy
We could hold hands and still be at our best
But we will wait until we remember that time does not trust in this.

Never really recovered from an illness that I was exposed to 3 years ago
Didn’t know it’d bite back 6 times harder
And none for good luck.
What awaits me now, is more then a pat on the back and a better luck next time
“Dan you tried your best and now you must be laid to waste.”

Everybody seems to be the same
The way the rerun will always end in tragedy
We could hold hands and still be at our best
But we will wait until we remember that time does not trust in this.

Hope is put into a glass jar
Like the fireflies we collected as kids
Those fireflies would light up our rooms as we slept
But just like hope those fireflies were found dead.

(beautiful ending....i love the picture that it paints...)

other then the overall message being slightly obscured, in some parts there is enough hint at what your getting at, its a really good piece i enjoyed reading it! Just consider a few minor changes to make it a little clearer to an audience, unless it was your intent to make it obscure to the reader.

P.S there is comments added in the quote from me, i just forgot to remove the quote tags around them....lol sorry

Understanding In a Crash
07-04-2005, 10:55 AM
Thanks alot. I love being obscure sorry :D