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View Full Version : Typical love poem (Release)


Tyrion
06-21-2005, 12:55 AM
This poem/song is full of metaphores, and is loosely based on Strawberry Fields Forever by John Lennon("Today I'll take you down"="Let me take you down.") It's a bit raw as it's only a first draft, but I still like it's principal idea.

Release

Today I’ll take you down
To my heart’s own favored sanctuary
Show you the sparkle and glory of what you never knew
Only alone with a bear and a bird

Come with me to the beaches of pearls
Even though the sky turns gray, we’ll shine bright
Our souls will reflect off the sand into the sky
We’ll dance all night long on silver-lined clouds

Take me away to your own hole in the wall
Show me your hearth, unseal your vaults
Although your past only clouds my image
Open your mind to me and I vow not to laugh

Today we’ll both go down
To where only our dreams are real
See the vivid lights and faded hopes
Only alone with a bear and a bird.

SixStringKing
06-21-2005, 02:24 AM
LOVED IT!

did not take much of a likeing to the 3rd stanza but i do love the originality of this and the great use of metaphors that i have not been seing lately..

great job i really really like it

feel free to crit mine