Calling Out Screaming

[InMe]

Here are my latest lyrics, please feel free to crit them. Thanks.

Calling Out Screaming
Im still the same
All plastered and cant escape
From this ghost caped glass
Surrounded by my haunted thoughts
I need to grab hold of something now

Calling out screaming
Im rated as nothing that sparkles the eye
Calling out screaming
I just make that eye blink
Until i face away
It then stares proudly from me

No entry to happiness is here
I fail to interest you now
I could search from the underground
Through the bones to the skys of flesh
But i still wouldnt find anyone that wants me

Calling out screaming
Im rated as nothing that sparkles the eye
Calling out screaming
I just make that eye blink
Until i face away
It then stares proudly from me

The eyes so far from me
But i can stay focused on this target
If i could find my special angel
And pleasure them in ways
To let the light shine down to them
Im bewildered as to why im feeling this

Its so easy for you all
Yet i cant cope with it
You talk and you laugh
Let me leave this place
There spear words go straight for me
And attack me down

Calling out screaming
Im rated as nothing that sparkles the eye
Calling out screaming
I just make that eye blink
Until i face away
It then stares proudly from me

[JaveryAM]

im sorry, i couldnt read this piece right... it bothered me, because it seemed like some of the pieces i used to write that i didnt particularly enjoy... which is bad... i suggest you do what i do and rewrite it a few times, making partial changes in tiny incriments until it's satisfactory for basically everyone to enjoy.

[SixStringKing]

take the last two stanzas out and it could be a great piece... i like it i dont think javery knows whast hes talking about... i like this piece the metaphors all worked together well you didnt try to over use them... and the message was clear and you did a good job of making a cliche topic non-cliche good job