Suicide of a Nymph

[Txus]

Left the town behind,wheels are my horseback ride,
I have The Sea calling my name, with words written in tide,
Sand warming up my feet, as I step on dead shells..
I leave my skin on shore ..Dive in the water..
Melt..!


Dive in water, held my breath as I swam deeper,
Under waves I meet my Death,Leaving my being drifting..
Air seems to be addiction,choaked in my throat..it lingers..
My body keeps on sinking,Soul reaches out..Keeps lifting..


And then seems all so easy,Blue comes and takes me in,
Gives shine of Pearly color, to hair..and eyes..and skin..
I swim away and further..I crave to drown so much,
Then,I won't have to stop to See and Feel ...
Nor Touch..


Am not my own and notice..The Freedom I am given,
I hold my Treasure close and won't let go in need,
With Faith,I keep it safe..From Saints..and Men..and Heathens,
I'm free from all,surrendered..
My shield,My arms,My Creed...
I'm Free..



**Epilogue**
Blue is The Color..That feeds my dreams away,
Blue as the waves that die.. upon the shore,each day..
Blue is The Heart you left,while shed its tears of fire,
In Sky Of Blue was born and hid in Cloud of Deep,
Quiet Desire...

[Txus]

Someone please?

[undergroundshell]

Yeah man. I really like the use of images and how they are "colored". Definitely right to the point. The title kinda caught me off-guard, but that's ok. And way to keep with the story!

[Txus]

Yeah man. I really like the use of images and how they are "colored". Definitely right to the point. The title kinda caught me off-guard, but that's ok. And way to keep with the story!
Thanks man, i love the title personally even though i suck at making titles. :D

[horseypie]

definetly a prog song....whether dream theater epic or more atmospheric like a perfect circle i reckon it could do any way

reads well tho...then again i like songs with stories

[Leaves]

Left the town behind,wheels are my horseback ride,
You go from past tense to present tense in the same sentence. It would sound a lot better if you changed it to "Leave the town behind..." IMO.
I have The Sea calling my name, with words written in tide,
Nice. Good imagery and an excellent rhyme.
Sand warming up my feet, as I step on dead shells..
Gramatically I believe this should be "Sand warms my feet..."
I leave my skin on shore ..Dive in the water..
Melt..!
I don't like the use of the exclamation point here. If that's how you sing it, cool, but it looks dorky as a read.


Dive in water, held my breath as I swam deeper,
Again, tense inconsistencies. The rest of the verse is in present tense, so you should switch "held" to "hold".
Under waves I meet my Death,Leaving my being drifting..
Air seems to be addiction,choaked in my throat..it lingers..
My body keeps on sinking,Soul reaches out..Keeps lifting..


And then seems all so easy,Blue comes and takes me in,
Gives shine of Pearly color, to hair..and eyes..and skin..
Great line with another great rhyme.
I swim away and further..I crave to drown so much,
Then,I won't have to stop to See and Feel ...
Nor Touch..


Am not my own and notice..The Freedom I am given,
"Am not my own and notice..." Um, what? This doesn't make sense.
I hold my Treasure close and won't let go in need,
With Faith,I keep it safe..From Saints..and Men..and Heathens,
I'm free from all,surrendered..
My shield,My arms,My Creed...
I'm Free..
Not bad.



**Epilogue**
Blue is The Color..That feeds my dreams away,
Blue as the waves that die.. upon the shore,each day..
Blue is The Heart you left,while shed its tears of fire,
In Sky Of Blue was born and hid in Cloud of Deep,
Quiet Desire...
I like the epilogue. I actually think your title should come from this (I'm not digging your current title, sorry.) I think "Blue is the Color" or simply "Blue" make for better and more appropriate titles. But that's just me.

[Txus]

Left the town behind,wheels are my horseback ride,
You go from past tense to present tense in the same sentence. It would sound a lot better if you changed it to "Leave the town behind..." IMO.
I have The Sea calling my name, with words written in tide,
Nice. Good imagery and an excellent rhyme.
Sand warming up my feet, as I step on dead shells..
Gramatically I believe this should be "Sand warms my feet..."
I leave my skin on shore ..Dive in the water..
Melt..!
I don't like the use of the exclamation point here. If that's how you sing it, cool, but it looks dorky as a read.


Dive in water, held my breath as I swam deeper,
Again, tense inconsistencies. The rest of the verse is in present tense, so you should switch "held" to "hold".
Under waves I meet my Death,Leaving my being drifting..
Air seems to be addiction,choaked in my throat..it lingers..
My body keeps on sinking,Soul reaches out..Keeps lifting..


And then seems all so easy,Blue comes and takes me in,
Gives shine of Pearly color, to hair..and eyes..and skin..
Great line with another great rhyme.
I swim away and further..I crave to drown so much,
Then,I won't have to stop to See and Feel ...
Nor Touch..


Am not my own and notice..The Freedom I am given,
"Am not my own and notice..." Um, what? This doesn't make sense.
I hold my Treasure close and won't let go in need,
With Faith,I keep it safe..From Saints..and Men..and Heathens,
I'm free from all,surrendered..
My shield,My arms,My Creed...
I'm Free..
Not bad.



**Epilogue**
Blue is The Color..That feeds my dreams away,
Blue as the waves that die.. upon the shore,each day..
Blue is The Heart you left,while shed its tears of fire,
In Sky Of Blue was born and hid in Cloud of Deep,
Quiet Desire...
I like the epilogue. I actually think your title should come from this (I'm not digging your current title, sorry.) I think "Blue is the Color" or simply "Blue" make for better and more appropriate titles. But that's just me.
Thanks alot man for the suggestions, i wasnt digging the title also so nice recomendation there. :thumb: