Pick this apart for me?

[Neon-]

I saw you again.
You’re just a fool among men.
When will you learn, to let go?
Step out of the black
Nothings holding you back.
Every thing gets better in time, you know?

The world keeps on turning with out you
And I’m afraid your getting left behind
Won’t you keep up? Don’t you slow down now.
Because you my friend, I think you're going blind.

Just let someone in
You know how hard it’s been.
Confiding in yourself all the time

The world keeps on turning with out you
And I’m afraid your getting left behind
Won’t you keep up? Don’t you slow down now.
Because you my friend, I think you're going blind.

It’s all in your head
You’re easily read.
You know, we’ve seen through you the whole time.

The world keeps on turning with out you
And I’m afraid your getting left behind
Won’t you keep up? Don’t you slow down now.
Because you my friend, I think you're going blind

.

Thanks for any comments/suggestions.

[overdramatic]

Well writen. Just not style of lyrics i write/like. But still, well writen. Keep on writing.

[I AM CAT]

in the chorus i feel it would ahve better flow if u used you're instead of your at the end of it...i felt the first 2-3 lines were a little weak but not bad but good news is song gets better as it goes on i can see this being a very good acoustic or ballad...besides the one word in the chorus i liked it 8.5/10

[I AM CAT]

oo ya i'd appreciate it if u critted mine...the one called crash couse through a tragic life on the first apge...

[Neon-]

^haha, i ment to put you're instead of your. SOrry about that. Thanks for the crits.


any others?

[Neon-]

Bump-a-dump

[antidote for loneliness]

I thikn the line "Because you my friend, I think you're going blind." would flow better if it were changed, I think you my friend, are going blind, or because you my friend, are going blind or something along those lines. Its all I have to suggest, great rhythm, and I could see it being a potential song. 8/10. If you have the time, I'd appreciate it if you'd take a look at mine called wishful thinking to victory. thanks

[Neon-]

Bump.