The Futility of Life/Existence as it Refers to Human Weakness and Suffering

[freestyle1k86]

The Futility of Life/Existence as it Refers to Human Weakness and Suffering

Cape of darkness, that is me,
crawling through the galaxy,
whenever you cry and fear,
you know the cape of darkness is near,

(Verse)
You and me,
are flies on the wall,
wondering who will be,
the first to fall,

Cape of darkness, that is me,
crawling through the galaxy,
whenever you cry and fear,
you know the cape of darkness is near,

Master of ceremonies, in the dark
who will be the first to park
your car; it's the one with the licence plate T89-C55

Cape of darkness, that is me,
crawling through the galaxy,
whenever you cry and fear,
you know the cape of darkness is near.

(Screaming. Reeeely emotional!!!)

[freestyle1k86]

Please give some crit. My band has a gig on Monday and we really need some lyrics. My band is called Zone Rangers. Plus I think I'm on a major spiritual breakthrough.

[freestyle1k86]

/bump

[IOWNU200]

alright, you may want to try and get yourself away from rhyming a little at some parts. Some of this seems forced. Especialy the park my car line. That's probably the weakest point of this piece. Try and fix that up. Overall this is decent, but it's nothing great. I also think you should change "cry and fear" to "cry in fear" just a little smoother I think.

[Nightvision]

Joe is right.

It's ok, dodgy rhyming pretty much throughout. I certainly wouldn't call it a spiritual breakthrough. I'd call it average.