Possession-Depression-Regression -Dispassion

[Txus]

Posession
This demon's taken control of me
Depression
I curse myself and my incapability

Regression
I wish, I hope, to go back to the day
Dispassion
When I didn't care about it, either way

Displacement
Why are my thoughts so out of place?
Abasement
Mayhap it's someone else with my face

Chastisement
Punish me, now, for I spit and I curse
Excitement
It feels so bad, and I want it to be worse

Searching
I look for a way out of all this
Lurking
Shadows hide me, my courage I miss

Waiting
I see it there, my eyes it will haunt
Hating
I look for the moment when I can taunt

Distraction
It looks away for a moment or three
Inaction
I wait for too long, cannot get free

It holds me
It molds me
It makes me
It takes me

Possession is nine-tenths, don't you see?
Depression is deep and wont let me be
Regression perhaps is the way, but
Dispassion makes all those doors shut
Displacement causes me to sit and stare
Abasement is the punishment that I share
Chastisement is something I have heard
Excitement builds, and I await the word
Searching for who I once had been
Lurking old haunts, listening within
Waiting for the voice I once knew
Hating myself because I know its you
Distraction takes me and I look away
Inaction hits and I cannot do or say

A word about this hold it has on me
Molding me into what I'd never be
It makes me do these horrible things
It takes them away, my angel wings

Fallen I was, and fallen I'll be ever
I walk this world, ending seen never
Maybe with you I will play the game
Inside I'm dead, and you are the same

[Txus]

Anyone critic please? thanks .........

[Syrio]

i like it alot...has an interesting style that ive never seen before, but all seems to connect in the end. Can definitly tell there is feeling in this song. Some of the rhyming schemes seem alittle forced, but maybe clean it up a little and i think itd be really good. Good work man.


If youd crit my song id appreciate it:

http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=7813770#post7813770

[BlindWriting]

I like it. Very unique style to it, not structured to a normal form. But I like the way everything kind of comes together towards the end. Except for the last four lines, which kind of make me cringe, you have a good song here.
Is it your first?

[Txus]

I like it. Very unique style to it, not structured to a normal form. But I like the way everything kind of comes together towards the end. Except for the last four lines, which kind of make me cringe, you have a good song here.
Is it your first?

Thanks dude , and no this is like my 15th song :thumb: