Crit for new song plz help.... new to writing

[soundcheck101]

Never Ending Dream

If I could look at you under that sparkling silver moon
I’d turn my back on all those problematic things
Never looking back
Never giving in

Chorus: I could always turn back
Let go and leave
Set my mind free
You might just break things off with me

Making progress every single day
Turning this one love into a thing that will not fade
My heart is bound to yours
Your body bound to mine

Chorus: Driving everywhere
Just to see your beauty
And your grace

I’m blessed to have you as my lover
I’m blessed to have you share this place
Every morning I awake you’re in my bed

Chorus: God please don’t take her
She’s all I have
And when she’s gone I just might die…

Just a sleeping angel that has found me
Lying dead in this land of lies
This world of hate
This never ending date…

Chorus: Please kill me
Please kill me now
I’m done with life
My heart
Just Stopped
………..
……..
…
.

[bowl of oranges]

My advice, don't be so cliche, although these may be things that mean alot to you, find more colourful ways to talk about.

Saying that there are some nice sections. However this one is not nice, at all.

Chorus: Please kill me
Please kill me now
I’m done with life
My heart
Just Stopped

Keep writing and you'll get better and be able to be more imagitinive with your lyrics.

As they are really not my thing,

3/10

your thoughts on my work would be appreciated alot.

http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=338240

thankyou.