The Last Rose of Summer

[Zjanarhi]

This song is really more of a poem than a song, but it can be translated either way. BTW, this song is less complicated than Negative Images

The Last Rose of Summer

She's the last rose of summer,
Left blooming alone,
All her beautiful peers
Are faded and gone,
No other of her kind,
No one cares if she cries,
So she sits alone, distant,
And releases one last sigh

The last rose of summer

Still there she sits
In such a compelling pose,
As unwillingly seductive as she is,
Still I must touch this rose,
Still I must search deeper
The windows of her soul,
What could meander her mind,
So aloof and cold?

The last rose of summer

I touched that rose today,
I dug for her soul, too,
She moaned of infinite melancholy,
A routine with nothing new,
The pain of isolation,
And the deafening silence,
Even after all she told,
I'd still like to see through her eyes,

The last rose of summer


This was written several years ago, so be gentle. :lol:

[Sloth]

i'ts not amazing, but it fits well with my tastes's's's's's's.......
I'm not really sure why, but this stood out to me I touched that rose today,
I dug for her soul, too,
She moaned of infinite melancholy,
A routine with nothing new,


maybe change the very last line --"the last rose of summer" to something else.. While the repitition is fine, it loses it's affect after being repeated so many times.. Maybe reword the last line or alter the other lines so that it leads up to the ending..
overall- it was a nice little piece

[bowl of oranges]

i'm with sloth on this one, that sectin did stand out to me too, just some thought provoking words used there.

Again overall it's nice enough, nothing outstanding in it though.

[factor46]

Nice job on this one. I like how you worded the whole thing. The repetition of "The last rose of summer" was quite nice.....I can hear someone singing/playing this to an acoustic melody. I also liked the way you started out the song with a metaphor as your opening lines. That was cool.

The only thing I could find that might could be considered a problem, was this line:

"As unwillingly seductive as she is,"

...it was a good line, don't get me wrong, but it flows a little shaky. That's fine. It's a minor complaint. I had to try and find something wrong, but I couldn't. Good work. :thumb:


...and thanks for the crit on mine.
:D