Pressures

[N3v3rDi3]

Ok so this is like my first full song that ive written and im not quite sure if its finished yet but its supposed to be a screamo song, something like an underoath song. But here it is so far...


You kill me
All these pressures
I can't stand them
Run Away
Away from the pain

Tires of all this sh*t you put me through
Theres no point
We fight like theres no tomorrow
Its never ending

these pressure keep on building up
I'm about to explode
I'm a bomb
and your the clock

So tick my life away
You wont care when im gone
go on with your life
and pretend i didnt even exist

you killed me
all those pressures
I couldn't stand them
ran away
away from the pain


.....and thats it so far....i feel like the verse thats starts out with today is the tomorrow u promised me yesterday needs to be somewhere different but im not sure where to fit it. I might need another part to fit that in with the song...but anyway please crit and give me any advice you have.


thanks in advance

[Zjanarhi]

"Today is the tomorrow you promised me yesterday"? I'm sorry, but that part made me laugh. I give it a 5/10. srry

[N3v3rDi3]

"Today is the tomorrow you promised me yesterday"? I'm sorry, but that part made me laugh. I give it a 5/10. srry


yea i dont think it goes with the song now that ive been reading it over and over so im def. gonna take it out, but thats for the crit.