WhatILivefoR
05-09-2005, 09:12 PM
Like a couple of others, I also entered this song into the LC, but I would like some input on it. So, thank you in advance. You can leave a link to something of your own, and I will try my best to get to them.
Puppet, Meet Puppeteer.
An earth of ears still waiting, screaming at the sight:
of seven broken bones, one for every night
of masochistic thought and dreary contemplation-
of caricatures that block her shrieking invocation.
The others ignored this battle, and certainty remains
in spike and cliché gore; in silence of the slain.
her mouth unbolts to sing, the beguiling smile rises
clawing out of dirt and death; tearing through neurosis.
Swivel heads, engorged lips, the fringes of insane:
distortion of the strident mouths- Pretext signs her name;
the dotted line, a bruised pen, scrawl of broken finger
estranged from her own hands, these nameless suit this paper.
Puppet, meet puppeteer. puppeteer, meet puppet.
Strangled by strings, on the stage of regret.
Her blood is your romance.
Her blood is your romance.
I gave her a voice. I gave her a soul.
Her flesh is scored to interlock,
The heavens reside in her lungs.
This moon-faced convulsion girl, caught in aging drought
finds her soul uplifted when He raises her out
of crudely patched curves; these vibrating graves
of this crimson addiction of Psychosis slaves.
The heavens reside in her lungs.
------------
So this song is definitely a limb for me- on a few different levels: I don't usually write using a strict rhyming scheme; nor do I usually like rhyming, unless it is unique and a sub-factor for a song. And, the first stanza is one that I wrote in the lyric game thread. So, that was interesting...
Thanks for the read!
Puppet, Meet Puppeteer.
An earth of ears still waiting, screaming at the sight:
of seven broken bones, one for every night
of masochistic thought and dreary contemplation-
of caricatures that block her shrieking invocation.
The others ignored this battle, and certainty remains
in spike and cliché gore; in silence of the slain.
her mouth unbolts to sing, the beguiling smile rises
clawing out of dirt and death; tearing through neurosis.
Swivel heads, engorged lips, the fringes of insane:
distortion of the strident mouths- Pretext signs her name;
the dotted line, a bruised pen, scrawl of broken finger
estranged from her own hands, these nameless suit this paper.
Puppet, meet puppeteer. puppeteer, meet puppet.
Strangled by strings, on the stage of regret.
Her blood is your romance.
Her blood is your romance.
I gave her a voice. I gave her a soul.
Her flesh is scored to interlock,
The heavens reside in her lungs.
This moon-faced convulsion girl, caught in aging drought
finds her soul uplifted when He raises her out
of crudely patched curves; these vibrating graves
of this crimson addiction of Psychosis slaves.
The heavens reside in her lungs.
------------
So this song is definitely a limb for me- on a few different levels: I don't usually write using a strict rhyming scheme; nor do I usually like rhyming, unless it is unique and a sub-factor for a song. And, the first stanza is one that I wrote in the lyric game thread. So, that was interesting...
Thanks for the read!