My first complete song

[DoktorShred]

With my band i tend to help with lyrics but this is the first song I've written all the lyrics and music for. Basically a heavy metal track with an eastern feel and ends with a longish instrumental (lots of changing time sigs to represent running out of time/confusion of time), also has a sudden ending to represent death. These lyrics are all contained in the first half of the song. I wanna know straight off if they're plain bad so i can just redo them :)

Sands

<Verse>
Sifting through a desert
In the bottom of an hourglass
Grasp achievements been and gone
Justify existence

<Chorus>
Time is screaming in my mind
I tried to seize the precious sand
Now I know that it must flow
We must accept the fate in hand

<Verse>
Ever felt as if
Your time here could have been
Used in such a better way
Perhaps a better life be lived

<Chorus>

I’ve wasted my life…
<Instrumental>

[stifflittlefingers]

I could see it re written for more substance. But its metal. So maybe not.