Better Days

[black_sheepd]

I wish I could feel again
Like I did back when
You were my everything
Now all I do is just pretend
That you and I will never end
You are my everything

When will I wake up
To face reality
When will I break up
This world of fantasy

Maybe I'll stay awhile
Hope to see your smiling face
Maybe I'll stay awhile
And hope to see these better days

You came and went without regret
But I'm reminded; can't forget
Each and everyday
It all happened way too fast
I should've guessed it wouldn't last
Wasn't the only way

When will I wake up
To face reality
When will I break up
This world of fantasy

Maybe I'll stay awhile
Hope to see your smiling face
Maybe I'll stay awhile
And hope to see these better days

Wish that you were still here with me
Wish it was how it use to be
Did it have to change
A hollow wish that can't come true
An empty love that came unglued
But it had to change

When will I wake up
To face reality
When will I break up
This world of fantasy

Maybe I'll stay awhile
Hope to see your smiling face
Don't want to stay awhile
I want to see these better days

[KCsilvertone]

you got a crazy cool rhyme scheme goin on in this one..."AABCCB", that is just plain tight, the "chorus" (little four line piece) goes great witht he rest of the piece...

You came up with some good rhymes, the first "verse" grabbed my attention, and amde me keep reading, which is a very good quality for a song/poem to have...

overall, 8 or 9/10...i enjoyed it

plz crit my poems if you will, both are on the front page, "endocardial" and "divinity"...thanks

[KCsilvertone]

endocardial: plz crit:
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=327025

[black_sheepd]

Thanx for the crit.

[black_sheepd]

Anyone crit plz!

[black_sheepd]

bump