My Rolling Cell

[POOSTAIN]

I haven't been on here in a long f*cking time. Probably because I've had a bad case of writer's block straight up the *ss. I broke that record however, by writing this today. It's in 3/4 and sounds amazingly professional. It's about how I see living with my parents as being in a cage with wheels. They say I'm free to do whatever I want, but I have to tell them where I'm going who I'll be with what we're doing how long we'll be and why we're there. It's like putting a bird in a cage with wheels and saying "You're free!"


My Rolling Cell
By: POOSTAIN

Come push me around,
I see the horizon coming down,
My time's running out,
Don't tell me life is better now
I sit and I stare,
Can see it but can't go anywhere,
Don't try, don't fail,
You taught me how to never care,

Protected from hurting myself,
Just gives me a reason to try,
I'd play but the cards weren't dealt,
My life is passing me by,

(Chorus)
Can't Change, My Cage, The Wheels Go On,
'Til my Sentence is Done.

I can't say it's wrong,
My wheels will need oil after long,
It's what I've become,
If nothing's had then nothing's gone,
It's all in my head,
The reason I'm in here I forget,
I've cried, I've bled,
Hope that I'm freed before I'm dead,

Your actions were stronger than some,
And now I can't wait for goodbye,
Just trying to shield from the sun,
You're blocking the world from my eyes,

(Chorus)
Done...
Done...
Done...

Protected from hurting myself,
Just gives me a reason to try,
I'd play but the cards weren't dealt,
My life is passing me by,
Your actions were stronger than some,
And now I can't wait for goodbye,
Just trying to shield from the sun,
You're blocking the world from my eyes,

(Chorus)(4x)

[Corupt2057]

all I gotta say is wow.. every line in this song is so easy to sing too
the whole metaphorical theme was expressed amazingly well
and I can relate to it cause I use to be in that same situation.
Your play on words is.. your right it's very professional.
My only nit pick would be this line
"And now I can't wait for goodbye,"
just doesn't come across right.. although I understand it
and another thing is I'm kinda unsure where your chorus ends..

anyways I thought this was amazingly good, great work man
you busted through your writer's block with a stick dynamite

if you'd like to crit any of my recent work I have two posted called
Swimming in a Straitjacket and another called City Lights

keep up the good work I'm already looking forward to your next peice
:thumb:

[POOSTAIN]

Shank Jew, Shank Jew Hairy Munch. I threw it all together in like an hour or so a couple days ago. At the time I was focusing mostly on how it's sung, but when I finished I figured that the lyrics were pretty good. I have another one I'm about to put on called Burn & Fade If you want to check it out. Bumpity Bump Bump.

[POOSTAIN]

bumpity bump bump

[white_riot]

That was really good, I really liked it. The start of the song was really good and i just had to read on and the rest of it was really good to. 9/10

[POOSTAIN]

final bumpity