"Getting Nowhere At a Somewhat Plausible Rate"

[WeerezIsTehWinz]

Well, we're not on understanding terms
And we haven't been for quite some time
But we hold on and try to pretend
That nothing's any lower than fine, again
Don't you find it humorous
The way we lie to ourselves and pray that it goes away?
Wouldn't it be marvelous
If we weren't afraid to say what we wanted to say?

As we're stuck in this wheel, spinning round and around
I get so dizzy and my feet never touch the ground
The excitement never comes without appropriate wait
So I suppose we're getting nowhere at a somewhat plausible rate

I know the feeling's mutual
But I can't seem to quite grasp it
It doesn't seem unusual
When you're living in a casket
So please don't ask what's wrong anymore
Because we both know how to tell the score

As we're stuck in this wheel, spinning round and around
I get so dizzy and my feet never touch the ground
The excitement never comes without appropriate wait
So I suppose we're getting nowhere at a somewhat plausible rate

In the calm of the nighttime air
I feel so nice and warm
I'm reminded of how things once were
The calm before the storm
So let's not ruin this with words
Let's just enjoy the moment
Unfortunately, your mouth explodes
And your tongue leaves little comments behind

Once your pride's been shattered once or twice
And then a few more times
You begin to truly understand
What it's like to be on the inside
I'm sorry it has to end this way
But will it ever end?
I don't think I'm what you're looking for
Or surely I would never feel like this

As we're stuck in this wheel, spinning round and around
I get so dizzy and my feet never touch the ground
The excitement never comes without appropriate wait
So I suppose we're getting nowhere at a somewhat plausible rate

[Corupt2057]

I'll get back to this tonight gotta catch some dinner real quick ;-)

[Like Starscream]

The way I read it gave it a nice roll and I like the way you word some of the lines.

8.5/10

[Corupt2057]

"That nothing's any lower than fine, again"
This line doesn't seem to roll 'round and around' with the flow lol
sometimes you gotta sacrifice the rhyme for the meaning
try "Everythings alright and nothings wrong"

"I know the feeling's mutual
But I can't seem to quite grasp it
It doesn't seem unusual
When you're living in a casket
So please don't ask what's wrong anymore
Because we both know how to tell the score"
the 4th line isn't a forced rhyme
it just the metaphor doesn't fit in with the scheme of things
I really think you need to re-work where that went.
the last line I really like because it's so natural and people do it but don't even realise it some times you just gave literal meaning to it, very nice work

"In the calm of the nighttime air
I feel so nice and warm
I'm reminded of how things once were
The calm before the storm
So let's not ruin this with words
Let's just enjoy the moment
Unfortunately, your mouth explodes
And your tongue leaves little comments behind"

the 4th line was a very nice touch
I liked where you were taking this then you flipped around the whole subject with the last two lines but it was really abrupt yet it still wrote it with the flow of everything I'm kinda unsteady about that and don't really no what to suggest other than I don't think it will work out too well

"Once your pride's been shattered once or twice
And then a few more times
You begin to truly understand
What it's like to be on the inside
It's unfortunate it has to end this way
But will it ever end?
I don't think I'm what you're looking for
Or surely I would never feel like this"
I think you should end it
"Or surely I would never feel this way"
to link a rhyme to line 5
other than I like the ton in the first 2 lines
other than that seems like you said exactly what you wanted too without any mind garbage thrown in

as for the chorus the last 2 lines worked out great, they gave a great outline of all the verses but the 2nd line of the chorus seems like it was just tossed in for the rhyme I suggest you re-think where you actually want to take that
remember sacrificing the rhyme for the meaning is worth it
keep up the good work man

crit on one of my recent pieces either Swimming in a Straitjacket or City Lights thanks