Keep Your Eyes Closed

[Soel Jams]

its hardly complete, but i thought id give it a shot to see what you all think about this


Keep Your Eyes Closed

I've heard eyes are the windows to the soul,
But I must be the devil.
Because whenever I look at you,
Your eyes are always closed.
I thought I heard your breath on the wind,
Calling my name.

Open up your eyes, let me look in;
So I can know what you're truly feeling.
Your heart is so guarded,
But I've already started...loving you.
And you keep your eyes closed,
Keep your heart and soul,
Hidden from my view.

[deadreign 2]

I've heard eyes are the windows to the soul,
But I must be the devil.
Because whenever I look at you,
Your eyes are always closed.
I thought I heard your breath on the wind,
Calling my name.

This is not bad. it seems a bit corny with the word "devil" in there. Many you could used some other word for devil. I enjoy the first line though

Open up your eyes, let me look in;
So I can know what you're truly feeling.
Your heart is so guarded,
But I've already started...loving you.
And you keep your eyes closed,
Keep your heart and soul,
Hidden from my view.

I don't like the first three lines here. They seem too corny and too straightforward. But the last four lines are pretty decent. The last line gives the preceding three lines a good closure. But like I said, I'm not feeling the first three lines at all.