Drift out, this is my end.

[Mr. Ron]

10 years lust and a 3 day obsession, I carry you in my heart. So heavy this burden my legs wither like the ghosts in her eyes. Sombody told me the other day something terrifying but now it all sounds like nothing. Have you seen her? Have you looked out for her? Gone. This memorie is but a pile of ashes. Pent up in this four wall labyrinth, the longest sigh is released and I wash away, out to the blue sea, under this distain, over this world, and beneath this song.



A little poem/song I guess? I wrote it while not paying attention in math class. :p

Constructive criticism please.

[deadreign 2]

I don't like the structure here. Maybe you can break it up into lines and verses. The subject matter is unoriginal. It seems a bit rushed because you wrote it during math class. it iisn't horrible though. And it's good you can wrote something within a place were many things can distract you (math class). I need absolute silence most of the time when I write.