Walk Through Wonderland

[caught_on_chaos]

This is a song, the lyrics aren't really much without the music so i thought i'de try and improve them. so anysuggestions? The song has a mixed message and i'd like to know how different people interpret what it's about. See if anyone gets what i origionally wrote it about.

Walk Through Wonderland

INTRO/VERSE1
What am i worth now?
I used to be somebody a somebody worth being.
What am i worth now?
Pretence is a willing companion he keeps me company.

CHORUS
Walking through wonderland avenue,
We can be together just me and you,
We'll walk hand in hand,
Through thie sweet wonderland.

---------bridge------------

VERSE 2
You're so called love is tainted,
But if you're lonely you know i'll be there for you,
Come find me i'll be waiting,
Together we'll see it through.

CHORUS
So come on take my hand,
We'll walk through wonderland,
Just come with me and you'll understand,
We'll float forever in Wonderland.

---------guitar solo -----------

VERSE 3
If you get tierd of being,
Being an image of something that was not,
Follow me and i'll help you remember,
Remember what you forgot.

LAST CHORUS
Let go of all you have,
Discard all you've ever planned,
So come on let's getlost in here,
Swallowed in Wonderland

[white_riot]

I liked it alot. all the verses were good and so was your chorus. kept me interested the whole way through. nice work. 8/10

[TheOpeningAct101]

i liked it. but in places like the 2 verse it seems to lose its flow, but it does come back. keep it up. 8/10

i think it is about a guy/girl who you want to be with but you know you shouldnt, and you seem not in control of yourself and it kind of scares you, but at the same time you like it. i know it might be a stretch but thats what i got.

[caught_on_chaos]

you're on the right sort of lines with losing controle im glad that aspect of it came across. yeh i can see why you think that, it wasnt what i origionally wrote about relationship stuff but when i read it back a lot of tell tale bits point towards relationship troubles. so i spose it's got a sort of a mixed message, but nope, keep guessin guys :)

[caught_on_chaos]

more of a sinister dark undertone

[ABulldog]

uh, it's about Michael Jackson right? Wonderland ranch... lol... or was that neverland like the place where peter pan takes you to get raped by captain hook.

[situse]

Sounds like a pretty cool song, I'd like to hear music to it. I liked how each chorus is a bit different...I like when songs do that because its a good change here and there. The verses were pretty cool and I liked this verse the most out of all of them:

If you get tierd of being,
Being an image of something that was not,
Follow me and i'll help you remember,
Remember what you forgot.

So overall, cool song... I think you were writing about someone who was either with a girl and she broke up with him or someone who wants a certain girl but the girl doesn't know how to decide. I think the person who is singing, is telling the other person that he'll always be there for her, they'll be good together and that "Wonderland" can be a good place for the two of them.

Good job, peace. :thumb:

[caught_on_chaos]

hehe yeh you got me it was about michael jackson! nah wasn't really but good idea :D
to situse, grand idea but im a girl :thumb: nah everyones still thinking too much along the lines of relationships, it actually has nothing to do with relationships as such. thanks for the crits, helpful and informative :D

[BlacklightGuitarist]

I really like it. Good job. For me, I found it more about escaping from reality to dream worlds... Whether that featured in your initial plan or not, that's what I got. Cool.
Peace,
Andy

[caught_on_chaos]

yeh! you hit the nail on the head well don :thumb: im glad someone understood :D yeh it has a lot to do with escaping from reality, it kind of has an undtertone under it aswel that is worried about not being able to get back again. i dunno it's hard to explain but it seems like you get it. one of those things it either makes sense to you or it doesn't. thanx :)