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AndNico
03-23-2005, 01:49 PM
This is another one youll proably get all upset because you dont see the meaning...

Automotive Garden Is the ket to detatchment...

I would like to see you excited and i would like to see you delited...
with a plentyful road of shells, shells that hhold the secrret
secrets drown in skys of fright
and perish into sayings - of hidden tales - nomore secrets in this automotive garden will be told-but will perish into bigger things, wider things,well know sayings
I wont hold a secret,
You won't hold a secret,
We wont hold a secret,
or we will perish with them into bigger sayings or skys of fright,,,,
This Automotive Garden - shall hold -
No secrets

It's meant to go to music like the phantom Limbs...(even yough nobody here probaly knows them) - so ya...if you do know them, it will be easyier to imagine
ITRIEDVOODOOONCE
03-23-2005, 02:19 PM
you could use more discription of what exactly your trying to say. but aside from that the word choice is good and the secrets things kinda gets on my nerves. aside from that a good revision will get it a 8/10 current state 5/10
white_riot
03-23-2005, 02:59 PM
I didn't like it. i started reading it and straight away i got really bored and didn't what to read the rest. 1/10
caught_on_chaos
03-23-2005, 03:20 PM
i really like the title and the idea. great idea infact but yeh i didn't really understand the meaning and got a bit lost. some nice imagery but try and be a bit clearer maybe?
AndNico
03-23-2005, 04:48 PM
ok, thanks
TheOpeningAct101
03-23-2005, 04:58 PM
i guess i liked it, but you used the word secrets to much. maybe only use it once or twice than find a a diffrent word or metaphores to dicribe it more abstractly.
AndNico
03-23-2005, 05:00 PM
ok,...its pretty abstract i thaught....but alright
AndNico
03-23-2005, 09:30 PM
bump!
Corupt2057
03-23-2005, 11:31 PM
Nico I expected more of you dammit
I realise your trying to be celtic but this just comes out blatant
although you understand what your talking about
it's very hard to draw any story or an assumption of one from this
all it does is leave you questioning all the lines searching for the meaning
Geometric Patterns
03-23-2005, 11:33 PM
I like lyrics that make you think, to me that is the main gola of writing. Inspiration, you know? Otherwise, the point seems fairly lost.

I did like this though. I dont know if I can see it as a complete song, but it would definately be wonderful for a concept album or something. Almost like an intro, with speaking or slow acoustic guitar. You can almost visualize it.

The stongest part was the metaphor (nice job of extending with through the piece) of the seashells and secrets. Wonderful concept.
AndNico
03-23-2005, 11:35 PM
What is celtic?
Corupt2057
03-23-2005, 11:44 PM
leaving out alot of details so that the listener can incorporate their own memories and experiences from the song so it hit home more
that's the way most songwriters would define it but you'll never find a definition anywhere close to that in an actual dictionary.. it's kinda like songwriter slang ;-)
AndNico
03-24-2005, 11:12 AM
heh....yay for slang!.....ya, i guess it really ended up that way, didnt it
AndNico
03-26-2005, 06:59 PM
last bump!
TxAxNxD13
11-20-2005, 01:22 AM
rad
ITRIEDVOODOOONCE
11-20-2005, 08:39 AM
omg... i forgot posting in this. Its FROM ****ING MARCH, DIE!!
TxAxNxD13
11-22-2005, 10:33 PM
live! live! live! (sorry)
AndNico
11-25-2005, 11:28 AM
heh you got banned