PDA

View Full Version : End of the Road

rt1610
03-10-2005, 11:16 AM
theres someplace just past the end of the road
where you cant help but feel at home
its a person its a face
its a feeling its a place
where you never are alone
someplace between point a and b
somewhere where you and me
can live our lives without a care
and start completely over there
we could live inside a photograph
our secret portal to the past
stand still and watch life pass us by
a perfect moment frozen in time

theres someplace just past the end of the road
where you cant help but feel alone
its a person its a face
its a feeling its a place
where you always are alone
someplace between point a and b
somewhere where you can see
your much better without me here
a life too short to even care
I could live inside a photograph
my secret portal to the past
stand still and watch life pass me by
our last moment frozen in time
forever

heyy i wrote this and have been workin on it please crit ill crit back
rt1610
03-10-2005, 03:19 PM
come onnnn someone crit please!!!!
irishbasketcase
03-10-2005, 03:30 PM
i like it, 7/10, what style is it
rt1610
03-10-2005, 03:33 PM
im going towards punk but i might switch it to acoustic
Rushfan2112
03-10-2005, 10:13 PM
This owuld be about 20 times better acoustic man! *Course, Ive never been one to fully...enjoy...punk, so..pretty much, do what you want*

As far as the lyrics go, man this is cool...only complaint I could think of was, and Im sure it was intentional, but it repeats almost exactly with everything in the second stanza, except its in first person...i love this, but either make another stanza, or a chorus...or something...but still awesome....

"its a person its a face
its a feeling its a place"

I love this line...i dunno, but I read it and thought it mind sound cooler reworded, like "its a person, its a place, its a feeling, in its place" but thats really, really, REALLY, your call there, thats just my thought...

8.5/10
Ficus
03-10-2005, 11:00 PM
Nice song, but to me this had an incredible Green Day-esque feel to it. Kind of a mix of Good Riddance and When I come Around I belive it is. I thought the theme was pretty sweet too.
kill6the6pain6
03-11-2005, 01:14 AM
I liked it. 8/10