The awkward silence

[I.might.be.retarded]

newest one. kind of emotional for me, i dont know what you'll think. its kind of short, but its probably gonna be pretty slow with long intro/outro and long interludes.

The awkward silence
Haunts our discourse
That we’re having in this
Room by ourselves

Don’t know what to say
To break the wall
Of mass confusion
On these shelves

Calamity struck me by surprise
When you said good bye
I miss you

Devastation to my lonely heart
Pulls me further apart
From you

A tired mind
From walking to long
With you to and from
Your changing heart

Time will only tell
If your move was right
I’ve been in checkmate
From the start

Calamity struck me by surprise
When you said good bye
I miss you

Devastation to my lonely heart
Pulls me further apart
From you

I miss you

crit for a crit. thanks

[Witty Username]

From walking to long
*too

Pretty bad overall. Keep working on it.

[rapidhopeloss]

it's not half bad work a little bit on it and it could be really good

[I.might.be.retarded]

thanks for the input

[MechanicalClockworkOrgy]

Calamity struck me by surprise
When you said good bye
I miss you

Devastation to my lonely heart
Pulls me further apart
From you



those two i would work on severly
but it was pretty good