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View Full Version : "Director Charities", please crit.


xxstatique
03-08-2005, 08:47 PM
sorry deleted

weazel357
03-09-2005, 01:07 AM
seems like the last two stanza's would work better if you switched them

The_One
03-09-2005, 03:10 AM
Now can't you see, can't you see

Terribly cliched line. Other then that, not too bad.

7/10