carbon copys....(not sure yet, really rough)

[TxAxNxD13]

yo....i have an idea so ill jsut start writing it here....

you think your so cool with your "heavy metal" bondage
you think your the **** when you write a nazi sign
you think your so cool with your studded belt
but Your not (stop-3-4 )...fooling anyone! (snare and start again)

you do it for fashion? what an excuse
you do it for attention? oo even better
you try to be different but all your doing
is joining! the millions just like you

Chorus
_______
Ooo, your so deep, and no-one understands you
too bad there are a million carbon copys of you
Ooo. you are different cuz you got a faux-hawk
too bad there are a million carbon copys of you!
_________________________________________

winds down to jsut some raking on guitar and a drum beat*

so now, being 'goth' is hip?
writing anarchy is not a political view?
being 'punk' is to get attention?
well your not!, fooling anyone! gets fast again*

_________________________________________

Ooo! you are an anarchist
Ooo! youre a non-conformist
well now adays being non-conformist
is conforming with everyody else!

Chorus
_______
Ooo, your so deep, and no-one understands you
too bad there are a million carbon copys of you
Ooo. you are different cuz you got a faux-hawk
but, too bad there are a million carbon copys of you!

ya...its really rough so just tell me what to change or what ever
thanks

[TxAxNxD13]

no one?

[sparkylp2002]

Thanks for trhe crit on my piece although you already critted it already. ANyways i really didnt like this piece here. It just seemed like one long rant that really didnt go anywhere. There wasnt much flow to it at all, hard to put music too. Not to be rude or anything but this song was aweful. You either need to totaly rewrite this piece or scrap it.

Score 2/10

[I.might.be.retarded]

yeah, and i've heard that song about a million times over also

[TxAxNxD13]

huh? you heard a song about a million times over?...your either missing a vital comma or your sentence just doesnt make sence

[sparkylp2002]

huh? you heard a song about a million times over?...your either missing a vital comma or your sentence just doesnt make sence

He is saying that so many other people have done a song the same as yours.

[TxAxNxD13]

oh, ok thanks.
anyone else?

[TxAxNxD13]

last bump and ill let it die

[DeadReligion]

Heard better...but since its really rough....yeah, this has been done too many times...Dead Kennedys did it, for example...