A peaceful war

[gardnerville gangsta]

this is more of a poem than anything else

In a place were peace lives, war often rules
In a place were children sit, bombs often fly
For a country so impervious, ruled my such fools
Often blood must fly, for our peace to stay alive
Visions and talk of war, dancing through our schools
Boxes show us everything, a hell that’ll never die
If we shall have peace today, war, forever lingers near

Panic it runs through our minds, colors choose our mood
Children, young warriors, shall spill blood for oil
We bring bombs, we bring death, but also, we bring food
Our country men; never again! To be set into our soil
We keep a smile, not a blemish, a lovely attitude
We created a never ending quest, a world of pain and fear
If we shall have peace today, war, forever lingers near

[Flinflon]

I agree, this is a short 'song' and more of a poem, but it strikes me as a very truthful and somewhat powerful statement about war and its going hand in hand with peace. I would like to see you continue this and possibly make it a full-blown song. IMO I'd recommend a short stanza to serve as a verse. All in all, a solid piece with potential to be even better. 8/10 with possibility of higher based on a continuation. Go to my post of 'Come one, come all, and be honest' , your critque would be greatly appreciated.