Strugglin (song)

[Mango]

Working on a song right now don't have much for it but heres what i got. Tell me what you think.

Slipping
I'm slipping

Verse 1:
Can't get a grip or get back on my feet
Lifes beaten me down To the ground I once stood
To the life I once had
Away from whats goooooood


Verse 2:
Struggling to survive in this endless cycle
The cycle of life, The cycle of time
Eternally endless, Internally sick
Of the path i have choosen
Life deading into an emmotional brick


Chorus:
When the light at the end has dimmed to a glow
And the warmness inside gets cold as snow
When i lose all luck
And all seems lost
Don't know if i can find the strength
to get back UPPPPP


I think i'm gonna add like 2 more verses and put the chorus inbetween them.

[bisnotch]

I think that the chorus is quite strong. I get a good image out of it. The only part i'm slightly confused about is the first verse. I don't think i'm sure what exactly you mean. Overall 8/10. Please crit mine. internal disagreement. nice work, keep it up.