Love was my first drug

[IOWNU200]

Crit for a vrit as always, just leave a link.

Love was my first drug

Verse 1

I used to always rely on myself
to come up with this new plan
everytime things began to fall apart
but it's come to the point where I rely on you
to save me, to heal me, like you did before
and I'd give anything to feel that just once more

Chorus

I don't function the same way as I used to
Now that I have known love.
And you can't just keep going on without it
Love was my first drug.

Verse 2

Isolation always worked before
but you won't go with me this time
And when no one takes the time to learn
I'll be neglected once again
I really just need someone to listen
and confirm themselves on my side

Chorus

I don't function the same way as I used to
Now that I have known love.
And you can't just keep going on without it
Love was my first drug.

Verse 3

It's been a long time since I've talked
to anyone besides myself
And I doubt it can last this way much longer
because I am the provider of all my fear
I need someone to share in my sorrow
and someone to help me heal again

[UnDeRoAtHfAn777]

Verse 1
I used to always rely on myself
to come up with this new plan
everytime things began to fall apart
but it's come to the point where I rely on you
to save me, to heal me, like you did before
and I'd give anything to feel that just once more
Well, nothing horrible but nothing outstanding either.
Chorus
I don't function the same way as I used to
Now that I have known love.
And you can't just keep going on without it
Love was my first drug.
Not a good chorus. That last line/title for song is horribly cliche and your repetition of love makes you seem like you have no vocabulary(yes I realize you only said it twice but that is once, maybe two times too many)
Verse 2
Isolation always worked before
but you won't go with me this time
And when no one takes the time to learn
I'll be neglected once again
I really just need someone to listen
and confirm themselves on my side
I'm not totally against bluntness but there is nothing special about it in this verse either. Pretty mediocre
Verse 3
It's been a long time since I've talked
to anyone besides myself
And I doubt it can last this way much longer
because I am the provider of all my fear
I need someone to share in my sorrow
and someone to help me heal again
Same as other verses.

Let me repeat, I am not against total bluntness. But look at other writers who write w/bluntness, they use good vocabulary, clever lines, and a metaphor or reference to something else that keeps it good. Not trying to bash you but I wouldn't sing this to anyone but the girl I wrote it for. Keep working at it though.

No other pieces out right now, rep would be nice though :thumb: