skin strip.

[Axiom545]

something prog? this is about coming down with sickness. the picture i had in my mind was a person visiting a strange tree in an otherwise barren field. enjoi.

She climbs spider-like
across a monotone sky, spinning
limbs into webs as she goes
high, spiraling higher.

Her words are murder
calling me closer.
Calling me.

Flowers spring to greet
when I visit—red
as blood cells in a ring
around my feet—replicating
until all I see is a field
sickle-smiling back at me.

The sun is too intrusive, swelled
like a boil festering the skin
of the sky. It makes me feel
ill in the open. Stretched thin
over bloated bones, I’m dripping,
dripping ‘till I’m dry.

Her words are murder
calling me closer.
Calling me close.

Shelter me, cocoon lady,
inside your miserable calligraphy.
I hear them already; the buzz
of fever bees needle my ear.

My skin is intolerable—
it itches, peels, and flakes, falling
as petals do—

exposing
the stem, spindle-thin,
within.

Her words are murder
calling me closer.
Calling me.

I am a nursery—
newborns bud in me—
and the bees, rabidly swarm
my tulip-fingertips and excite me.

[WarLust]

Good Imagry,subtle rhyming,over all pretty cool 9/10

[Axiom545]

thanks, g.

[--Attaboy_Skip--]

I like the style you've used for this, you've used metaphors quite well in this. It's quite descriptive and I like that. 9/10

PS Could you crit my song, Father Monty, I'd greatly appreciate it.
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=306082

Thanks!