midnight suicide

[Floydfanatic]

The moon could never please the sun
such a disapointment to the sky
it tried and tried and tried
but **** hits the fan
when shooting stars collide

Another drop of water please?
i can't drown in such a shallow puddle
Headlights beg for mercy
Counting the seconds
ask me for more

should i dig untill i find a light?
on the other side, in another life
should wait until i catch the moon
or maybe should i go and try?

i know it's really short... but that's how i wanted it to be.

[Floydfanatic]

anything?

[TCsmartie]

I dont really understand what its about. I like it though... apart from the "****" part.... not too keen on swearing in songs... I especially like the last stanza... good ideas in that, and the imagery in the 2nd is good too. Overall 7/10, could be a bit longer.

[Floydfanatic]

i know it's really short... but that's how i wanted it to be.

haha... :lol: thx for the crit... it would have sounded wierd though if i said like crap instead or poop....

[TCsmartie]

lol "poop hits the fan".......... sounds almost dog-like.... kinda.... dont listen to me. sorry lol.